Same Sex Relationships and Issues Affecting Transgender and Transsexual People

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Same sex relationships

Legislated discrimination in British Columbia between opposite- and same sex relationships has steadily been erased in the context of family law. To quote barbara findlay QC, a tireless advocateA lawyer or a person other than a lawyer who helps clients with legal issues; to argue a position on behalf of a client. for queer rights, from a speech to the Canadian Bar Association British Columbia a number of years ago:

"Gays and lesbians in British Columbia now have exactly the same rights and obligations towards one another as straight people do. Exactly the same. Full stop."

She is entirely correct. As far as the provincial statutes of British Columbia are concerned, and indeed the vast majority of federal statutes as well, there is equality. The Court of AppealThe highest level of court in this province, having the jurisdiction to review decisions of the Supreme Court, all provincial lower courts and certain tribunals. See "appeal." for British Columbia was among the first of Canada's appellate courts to acknowledge that restricting the right to marry to straight couples alone was an egregious breach of the equality rights of gays and lesbians, and our provincial Adoption Act is one of the few in Canada that permit adoptionIn family law, the act or process of taking another person's child as one's own. The child becomes the adopting parent's legal child as if the child were the adopting parent's natural child, while the natural parent loses all rights and obligations with respect to the child. See "natural parent." by same sex couples.

Gays and lesbians are just as entitled to pursue claims relating to the care of children, child supportMoney paid by one parent or guardian to another parent or guardian as a contribution toward the cost of a child's living and other expenses., spousal supportMoney paid by one spouse to another spouse either as a contribution toward the spouse's living expenses or to compensate the spouse for the economic consequences of decisions made by the spouses during their relationship., and the division of propertySomething which can be owned. See "chattels" and "real property." as straight people are. Sexual orientation plays no part in the division of family propertyA term under the ''Family Law Act'' referring to property acquired by either or both spouses during their relationship, as well as after separation if bought with family property. Both spouses are presumed to be equally entitled to share in family property. See "excluded property.", nor is it a factor in determining issues relating to children or support.

How does family law intersect with gay and lesbian relationships? In every way. There is no reliefIn law, an order sought by a party to a court proceeding or application, usually as described in their pleadings. Where more than one order or type of order is sought, each order sought is called a "head of relief." See "action," "application" and "pleadings." known to family law of which straight couples can avail themselves that same sex couples cannot.


As a result of the 2005 federal Civil Marriage Act, same sex couples can legally marry throughout Canada. Of course, not everyone can marry, such as close relatives or minors under a certain age. See the Marriage & Married Spouses section of the Family Relationships chapter for more information about the capacity to marry, valid marriages and invalid marriages.

It's not just Canadian couples who can marry. Anyone from anywhere can get married in Canada, as long as they meet the Canadian criteria for a valid marriageA legal relationship between two persons, whether of the same or opposite genders, that is solemnized by a marriage commissioner or licenced religious official and gives rise to certain mutual rights, benefits and obligations. See also "conjugal rights," "consortium" and "marriage, validity of.". However, while a Canadian marriage is certainly legal in Canada, it may not be recognized as a valid marriage at home. If a couple's home country does not recognize same sex marriages as valid marriages, the Canadian marriage is unlikely to be valid in that country.


Whether the battle over a child is between two parents of the same gender or between parents of opposite genders or families of more than two parents or guardians, the legal test that the parents and the court should consider is the same: what arrangements are in the childA person who is younger than the legal age of majority, 19 in British Columbia. See "age of majority."'s best interests? That's the court's only concern. The courts have been crystal clear that the sexual orientation of the child's parents is only one of many factors to be considered and is often a non-issue. This is what a few judges have had to say:

Anger v. Anger, 1998 CanLII 4490 (BCSC):

Mother sought an orderA mandatory direction of the court, binding and enforceable upon the parties to a court proceeding. An "interim order" is a temporary order made following the hearing of an interim application. A "final order" is a permanent order, made following the trial of the court proceeding or the parties' settlement, following which the only recourse open to a dissatisfied party is to appeal. See "appeal," "consent order," "decision" and "declaration." that the children live primarily with her. Father opposed application as he found mother's sexual orientation "repugnant on religious and moral grounds." Court finding father doing everything he could to cut mother out of children's lives, and accepting psychologist's recommendation that children should live with mother. Mother's application allowed. No weight given to mother's sexual orientation.

Murphy v. Laurence, [2002] O.J. No. 1368 (ONSC):

Applications by biological mother and mother's lesbian partner for custodyIn family law, an antiquated term used by the ''Divorce Act'' to describe the right to possess a child and make parenting decisions concerning the child's health, welfare and upbringing. See "access." and child support. Parties had three year unmarried relationship in which mother remained at home and partner worked outside the home. Both acted as parents to child, and following separationIn family law, the decision of one or both parties to terminate a married or unmarried relationship; the act of one person leaving the family home to live somewhere else with the intention of terminating the relationship. There is no such thing as a "legal separation." In general, one separates by simply moving out, however it is possible to be separated but still live under the same roof. See "divorce, grounds of.", partner exercised liberal accessUnder the ''Divorce Act'', the schedule of a parent's time with their children under an order or agreement. Access usually refers to the schedule of the parent with the least time with the child. See "custody." to child. Child later, by agreement, going to live mostly with partner. Court finding child to have benefited from care of both women, and ordering joint custodyA term used by the ''Divorce Act'' when both spouses have custody of a child, giving both the right to make parenting decisions concerning the child's health, welfare and upbringing but not necessarily requiring or implying that the spouses have equal or near-equal amounts of time with the child. See “access" and "custody." with primary residenceThe geographic place where a person permanently lives. This is different from a person's "domicile" in that a person's residence is more fixed and less changeable in nature. A person's residence can also have an impact on a court's authority to hear and decide a legal action. See "domicile" and "jurisdiction." of child to mother based on blood tie. Negligible access given to father in light of history of disinterest in child. No weight given to mother's sexual orientation.
"The best interests of [the child] are, of course, what will govern any decisionIn law, a judge's conclusions after hearing argument and considering the evidence presented at a trial or an application; a judgment; the judge's reasons. A judge's written or oral decision will include the judge's conclusions about the relief or remedies claimed as well as their findings of fact and conclusions of law. A written decision is called the judge’s "reasons for judgment." See "common law," "conclusions of law," and "findings of fact." relating to custody in this matter. In this fundamental principle, same sex parents seeking custody are no different than opposite-sex parents seeking custody."

Bubis v. Jones, 2000 CanLII 22571 (ONSC):

Application by mother for vary order to obtain custody. Mother in lesbian relationship following separation from father. Court finding father prejudiced against lesbians, that same sex preference of parentIn family law, the natural or adoptive father or mother of a child; may also include stepparents, depending on the circumstances and the applicable legislation; may include the donors of eggs or sperm and surrogate mothers, depending on the circumstances and the terms of any assisted reproduction agreement. See "adoptive parent," "natural parent" and "stepparent." merely one of many factors to be considered, and in light of positive psychologist's report and change in mother's employment and stability, giving custody to mother.
"Homophobia is being replaced by reason and bigotry by tolerance — but not completely, since history tells us that, in matters of this nature, there will always be pockets of prejudice."
"There is no evidenceFacts or proof of facts presented to a judge at a hearing or trial. Evidence can be given through the oral testimony of witnesses, in writing as business records and other documents, or in the form of physical objects. Evidence must be admissible according to the rules of court and the rules of evidence. See "circumstantial evidence," "hearsay," and "testimony." that families with heterosexual parents are better able to meet the physical, psychological, emotional or intellectual needs of children than are families with homosexual parents."

Child support

Regardless of your sexual orientation or identity, if you qualify as a parent for the purposes of the Family Law Act, or the child qualifies as a child of the marriage for the purposes of the Divorce Act, child support will be payable by the person who has the child for the least amount of time to the person who has the child for the most amount of time. Child support will be payable in the amount specified under the Child Support Guidelines unless the parent paying support, the payor, fits into one of a very narrow range of exceptions:

  • payment of support in the usual amount would be too much and cause "undue hardshipA term used by the Child Support Guidelines to describe circumstances when payment of the table amount of child support would cause financial difficulty for the payor or the recipient, potentially justifying an award of support in an amount different than the table amount. See "child support," "Child Support Guidelines" and "table amount."" (the recipient of support may ask for an increased amount of support if payment of the usual amount would be too little and also cause undue hardship),
  • the payor is responsible for the care and control of the child for more than 40% of the child's time,
  • the child is 19 or older,
  • the payor earns more than $150,000 per year, and payment of the table amountThe amount of child support payable under the Child Support Guidelines tables. See "Child Support Guidelines." would result in an unfair windfall to the recipient, or
  • other persons are also under a legal obligationA duty, whether contractual, moral or legal in origin, to do or not do something. See "duty." to care for the child.

The only one of these exceptions that has any special relevance to same sex couples is the last: where another person is also under an obligation to support the child. Assuming there is another parent in the picture apart from the other partyIn law, a person named as an applicant, claimant, respondent or third party in a court proceeding; someone asserting a claim in a court proceeding or against whom a claim has been brought. See "action" and "litigant." to the relationship, that the other parent will also be obliged to contribute to the support of the child. In Murphy v. Laurence and Rogers, the biological mother of a child was entitled to receive child support from both her former lesbian partner and the child's father.


The Divorce Act no longer requires spouses to be of opposite genders to qualify for a divorceThe legal termination of a valid marriage by an order of a judge; the ending of a marital relationship and the conjugal obligations of each spouse to the other. See "conjugal rights," "marriage," and "marriage, validity of." order. Oh happy day.

Issues affecting transgender and transsexual people

To be brutally frank, the jury is still out on how family law impacts on the trans community. Right now, the laws have slipped into a comfortable understanding of the same or opposite genders and only accommodates people on the spectrum in between with difficulty. While bisexuality is as close to a non-issue in this context as there can be, transgender and transsexual people may well encounter difficulty in dealing with family law matters. This discussion offers only a gloss on some of the issues affecting this community.

If you have a family law problem and your orientation, gender or identity becomes an issue, contact a lawyerA person licensed to practice law in a particular jurisdiction. See "barrister and solicitor." known to be sympathetic or activist on the issue, such as barbara findlay or another lawyer she can refer you to.


As a result of the 2005 federal Civil Marriage Act, gender is irrelevant in determining the ability of a couple to marry.


Those who have discovered another self-identity during a relationship may find their new identities hotly at issue in the event that the living arrangements for any children must be decided in court. The problem here is that while shows like "Will and Grace", "The Birdcage" and "The L Word" have made homosexuality something commonly understood and empathized with, nothing similar has popularized and explained the experience of the transgender community.

It can be very difficult for people, including ex-partners, to understand transgender issues, and this problem is especially acute in courtroom discussions about the care and control of children. Often the most important task is to demystify the person's self-identity and explain why their self-identity has no impact at all on their ability to parent, nor on the expected outcomes for the children.

On the bright side, the single reported case I was able to find in researching transgender and transsexual family law issues dealt fairly positively with the subject. (This research is a few years old.) In Forrester v. Saliba, 2000 CanLII 28722 ONCJ, a 2000 decision of the Ontario Court of Justice, the father of the child had begun the process of transitioning to female following the pronouncement of a consent orderAn order resolving all or part of a court proceeding, on an interim or final basis, that the parties agree the court should make. which provided that the parents would have joint custody of the child. The mother brought an application to vary the order to obtain sole custody of the child based on the stress and depression that affected the parents since the commencement of the transitioning process. Here are some interesting excerpts from the decision:

"I indicated at the beginning of the trialThe testing of the claims at issue in a court proceeding at a formal hearing before a judge with the jurisdiction to hear the proceeding. The parties present their evidence and arguments to the judge, who then makes a determination of the parties' claims against one another that is final and binding on the parties unless appealed. See "action," "appeal," "argument," "claim," "evidence" and "jurisdiction." to both parties and their counselA lawyer; the advice given by a lawyer to their client. that the [father's] transsexuality, in itself, without further evidence, would not constitute a materialIn law, something that is relevant, important. A material fact is a fact relevant to a claim or a defence to a claim. See "claim," "evidence," and "fact." change in circumstances [necessary to consider varying a consent order], nor would it be considered a negative factor in a custody determination."
"The entire focus of this trial has been upon the consequences of the [father's] transgendering, the mental health issues that have arisen as a result of the [father's] transgendering process, and the [mother's] mental health issues. The evidence discloses that throughout all these problems suffered by the parties, the child Christine has remained happy and healthy and continues to enjoy a positive relationship with both parties. ... It appears from the evidence that Christine is a very well-adjusted, happy, healthy little girl, who in her own way has been able to accept the changes in her father and continues to enjoy a healthy relationship with her father, now a woman psychologically, as a person and a loving and caring human being."

The mother's application was dismissed.

In a very recent case here in British Columbia K. (N.) v H.(A.), 2016 BCSC 744, the larger dispute centered around the parents’ disagreement over gender transition therapy involving their 11 year old child. The mother supported the transition whereas the father did not. At issue before Justice Skolrood in that proceedingIn law, the whole of the conduct of a court proceeding, from beginning to end, and the steps in between; may also be used to refer to a specific hearing or trial. See "action." was whether or not the child was entitled to an independent voice in the litigation. The court held that this was appropriate, saying:

39 I am satisfied that J.K. should be permitted to participate directly in this proceeding. To my mind, this case is different from the many family law cases that come before the courts in which the views of the child are sought on issues relating to guardianship and parenting timeA term under the ''Family Law Act'' which describes the time a guardian has with a child and during which is responsible for the day to day care of the child. See "guardian.", and where those views are typically presented through third partyA person named in a court proceeding or joined to a proceeding who is neither the claimant nor the respondent. A third party may be joined to a proceeding where the respondent believes that the person has or shares some responsibility for the cause of action. See "action," "cause of action" and "party." reports.
40 I agree with Ms. findlay's characterization that this case is really about J.K. and his role in determining his own future. In my view, these issues cannot be properly considered without J.K.’s direct participation, nor would it be fair to J.K. for the court to attempt to do so.

Child support

Transgender issues have no impact at all on the determination of child support. If you are a parent or qualify as a stepparentThe spouse of a person who has children from a previous relationship. A stepparent may qualify as a "parent" for the purposes of issues relating to child support and the care and control of a child under both the ''Divorce Act'' and the ''Family Law Act''. See "parent" and "spouse." within the meaning of the applicable legislationAn act; a statute; a written law made by a government. See "regulations.", child support will be payable or receivable. End of story.

Spousal support

The simple fact of financial dependence, which would ordinarily have to be established to support a claimThe assertion of a legal right to an order or to a thing; the remedy or relief sought by a party to a court proceeding. to spousal support, should be sufficient to prove an entitlement to support. If, however, the cause of the dependence or inability to be independent relates to or stems from the transgender issue, be prepared to face some resistance. The problem will lie in establishing the legitimacy of the financial dependency arising from the transgender issue; in other words, the problem will lie in convincing the judgeA person appointed by the federal or provincial government to manage and decide court proceedings in an impartial manner, independent of influence by the parties, the government or agents of the government. The decisions of a judge are binding upon the parties to the proceeding, subject to appeal. dealing with the matter, if the matter has to go to court, that the issue you are dealing with isn't one of choice or a voluntary financial dependence.


The Divorce Act no longer requires spouses to be of opposite genders, whether at the end of their marriage or at its beginning, to qualify for a divorce order.

Resources and links



This information applies to British Columbia, Canada. Last reviewed for legal accuracy by Todd Bell, March 20, 2017.
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