Difference between revisions of "Deciding Who Will Move Out When You Separate"

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{{Dial-A-Law TOC|expanded = family}}
{{Dial-A-Law TOC|expanded = family}}
This script discusses moving out when you separate, including:
*who should move out
*whether you can lock your spouse out of the home
*getting a court order to make your spouse move out
*what to do if your spouse harasses you after you have separated


==Should someone move out?==
When a couple separates, a question arises: who’s going to move out? Learn your rights when it comes to deciding who moves out, and the steps to enforce them.
Some couples stay together after they separate, usually because it’s cheaper to live in one place with one set of household bills than in two places with two sets of bills. This isn’t possible for everyone, particularly if there is a risk of domestic violence or there is a lot of conflict in your relationship after separation and the children still live at home


==Who should move out?==
==Understand your legal rights==
If you have children, and you and your spouse can talk about who should move out, several things will influence your decision about who will stay in the house and who will move out:
 
*Do the two of you get along well enough to stay in the home together? If you argue, how much are the children exposed to your conflict?
===Who should move out===
Some couples keep living together after they separate; it’s cheaper to live in one place with one set of household bills than in two places with two sets of bills. But this isn’t possible for everyone, particularly if there is a risk of family violence, or there is conflict in the relationship and children who live at home.
 
Several considerations go into deciding who will stay in the home and who will move out:
*Do the two of you get along well enough to stay in the home together?  
*Will either one of you be keeping the home after separation?
*Can either of you afford to keep it?
 
If you have children, there are more considerations:
*Where are the children likely to stay after the separation, and who will be mostly responsible for looking after them?
*Where are the children likely to stay after the separation, and who will be mostly responsible for looking after them?
*Where do the children go to school or daycare? Where are their extracurricular activities located?
*Where do the children go to school or daycare? Where are their extracurricular activities located?
*Can you afford to get a second home big enough for you and the children?
*Can you afford to get a second home big enough for you and the children?
*Will either one of you be keeping the home after separation? Can either of you afford to keep it?
*If you’re thinking of staying in the home together for the time being, how much are the children exposed to your conflict?
 
It often makes sense for the person who will be primarily caring for the children or keeping the home (after buying out the other party’s interest in the home) to stay in the home, and the other person to move out.
 
===When you move out===
There’s no rule that says when you can and can’t move out, or that you must tell your partner ahead of time that you’re moving out. If it’s a very emotional separation or there has been violence between the two of you, or there is risk of violence, you might want to move out when your partner isn’t home.
 
{| class="wikitable"
|align="left"|'''Tip'''
You should seek legal advice if you’re unsure about whether to move out, particularly if you’re worried how it will affect who gets the home or how parenting arrangements will be decided.
|}
 
===You can move back in after you’ve moved out===
If you both own the home or are both listed on the lease or rental agreement, you can move back in if you want. It’s your place too. But you should let your partner know about your plans first. You may want to think twice about moving back in if there’s a risk it will escalate conflict. Also, if you can’t get along, you may need a court order to move back in or force your partner to move out. Get legal advice in this case.
 
===If you move out, you do not risk losing a share of the home===
You may be worried that if you move out of the family home, this will affect who gets what. Don’t worry. If you have a right to a share in the family home, you will not lose that right by moving out. However, if you move out of the home while your partner remains, it might be difficult later to convince the court you should be allowed to move back in while you work out the issues flowing from your breakup.
 
If the family home is in only your partner’s name, you can make a court filing to protect your interest in the property. (You need to be a “spouse”, which includes living together in a “marriage-like relationship” for at least two years.) If you haven’t started a court case yet, you can file a '''charge''' against the property under the ''[http://canlii.ca/t/8451 Land (Spouse Protection) Act]'' to prevent your spouse from selling it without notice to you. If a court case has started, you can file a '''certificate of pending litigation''' against the property under the ''[https://www.canlii.org/en/bc/laws/stat/rsbc-1996-c-250/latest/rsbc-1996-c-250.html#sec215_smooth Land Title Act]'' to protect your interest in the family home. The certificate means the property can’t be refinanced or sold without you knowing. If you have a choice, a certificate will better protect you.
 
===If you live together in rented accommodation===
If you and your partner live in rented accommodation, then it often comes down to whose name is on the lease or rental agreement. That person is legally responsible for paying the rent.


It often makes sense that the person who will be primarily caring for the children or keeping the home (after buying out the other spouse’s interest in the home) should stay in the home, and the other person should move out.  
If the party planning to remain in the rented accommodation and take over the related expenses is not on the lease or rental agreement, arrangements need to be made with the landlord to transfer the agreement into that party’s name.  


==When should you move out?==
If the lease or rental agreement is in both of your names, arrangements need to be made to transfer it into the name of the party remaining in the accommodation.  
There’s no rule that says when you can and can’t move out, or that you must tell your spouse ahead of time that you’re moving out. If it’s a very emotional separation or there has been violence between the two of you, or there is risk of violence, you might want to move out when your spouse isn’t home. If you’re unsure about moving out because you anticipate being primarily responsible for the children or want to buy out your spouses’ interest in the home so you can remain there, you get advice from a lawyer.  


==Can you move back in after you’ve moved out?==
If both parties want to move out, then arrangements need to be made with the landlord to end the agreement or set up a sublet.
If you both own the home or are both listed on the lease or rental agreement, you can move back in if you want. It’s your place too. But you should let your spouse know about your plans first, and you may want to think twice about moving back in if it’s just going to escalate your conflict. Also, if you can’t get along, you may need a court order to move back in or force your spouse to move out. Get legal advice in this case.


==Do you risk losing your share of the property if you leave?==
===Rights to household belongings===
You may be worried that if you move out of the family home, this will affect who gets what. Don’t worry. If you have a right to a share in the family home, you will not lose that right by moving out. However, if you move out of the home while your spouse remains, it might be difficult later to convince the court that you should be allowed to move back in while you work out an agreement or get a court order that resolves all issues from the breakdown of your relationship.
Each of you has the right to keep anything you brought into the relationship. Couples who qualify as “spouses” [https://www.canlii.org/en/bc/laws/stat/sbc-2011-c-25/latest/sbc-2011-c-25.html#sec3_smooth under the law] (which includes living together in a “marriage-like relationship” for at least two years), are presumed to share in the things they acquired during the relationship. This is called [https://www.canlii.org/en/bc/laws/stat/sbc-2011-c-25/latest/sbc-2011-c-25.html#sec84_smooth family property].


If you are a married or an unmarried spouse, and you haven’t started a court case yet, and the property is in only your spouse’s name, you can file a ''Land (Spouse Protection) Act'' entry against the home to prevent your spouse from selling it without notice to you. If a court case has started, married and unmarried spouses can also file a Certificate of Pending Litigation against title of the home under the ''Land Title Act'' to protect their interest in the family home, or any other property owned by their spouse, from creditors and from the property being refinanced or sold without their knowing. If you have a choice, a Certificate will better protect you.
====If you’re moving out====
If you’re the one who is moving out and you’re taking the children with you, you’ll need to consider their needs when deciding what to take and what to leave behind. But don’t strip the place bare or take more than a fair share, and don’t take things out of spite. Later on, you can always apply to court if there are more things you want from the home and you and your partner can’t agree on whether you can have them.


==What if you live together in rented accommodation?==
====If you’re staying in the home====
If you and your spouse live in rented accommodation, then it often comes down to whose name the lease or rental agreement is in, because that person is legally responsible for paying the rent. If the spouse planning to remain in the rented accommodation and take over the related expenses is not on the lease or rental agreement, then arrangements need to be made with the landlord to transfer the agreement into that spouses’ name. If the lease or rental agreement is in both of your names, then arrangements need to be made to transfer it into the name of the spouse remaining in the accommodation, or if both spouses want to move out, then arrangements need to be made with the landlord to end the agreement or set up a sublet.
If you are the one remaining in the home and your partner has taken no steps to remove their belongings, you should take the following steps before getting rid of those belongings.  


==Can you take any household belongings?==
If the property is in your name alone (owned or rented) and your partner’s financial interest in it is small, you can give your partner a deadline — in writing — to remove their belongings and tell them what you will do if they miss that deadline. That may motivate them to move.  
Each of you has the right to a reasonable share of the household belongings and to anything that you brought into the relationship. If you’re the one who is moving out and you’re taking the children with you, you’ll need to consider their needs when deciding what to take and what to leave behind. But don’t strip the place bare or take more than a fair share, and don’t take things out of spite. Later on, you can always apply to the court if there are more things that you want from the home and you and your spouse can’t agree on whether you can have them.


If you are the one remaining in the home and your spouse has taken no steps to remove their belongings, you should take the following steps before getting rid of those belongings. If the property is in your name alone (owned or rented) and your spouse’s financial interest in it is small, you can give your spouse a deadline—in writing—to remove their belongings and tell them what you will do if they miss that deadline. That may motivate them to move. If the property is in joint names (owned or rented), then your spouse may have a legitimate claim to leave their possessions in the home until the claim is resolved and you should see a lawyer.  
If the property is in joint names (owned or rented), then your partner may have a legitimate claim to leave their possessions in the home until the claim is resolved.


==What to take with you==
If you plan to leave your relationship and you want your children to live with you, you may want to take them with you when you move out. If you can’t take your children with you and they are safe in the home with your spouse, then you may leave them at home. Moving out without your children does not mean you have abandoned them. But if your spouse tries to prevent you from seeing them or spending time with them after you have moved out, you should see a lawyer.


Whether or not you have children, you should also take the following important documents and information with you when you leave:
==Next steps==
*Your marriage certificate, if you’re married
*Financial information, such as your tax returns for at least three years, statements from bank accounts, investment accounts, RRSP accounts and debt accounts, and copies of recent paystubs
*Your CareCard and other health and dental insurance cards
*Your SIN card, your driver’s licence, your passport, and any immigration papers
*You children’s birth certificates and passports
*Medications and prescriptions
*Some of your children’s clothing, furniture and personal belongings
*Copies of pictures of your spouse’s financial information, such as paystubs, tax returns, company records and ledgers, bank accounts, investment accounts, and RRSP accounts
*A record of your spouse’s Social Insurance Number, CareCard number and date of birth


==Can you take money from a joint account?==
===Step 1. Make sure you’re safe===
If you have a joint bank account with your spouse, you can usually take up to half the money in the account. Don’t take any more than half. Consider not taking anything if you have an income and your spouse does not or if payments for important family expenses like the mortgage come from the joint account. You should also consider letting your spouse know the funds you have removed after you have done so, so that they are not surprised when they access the account.
If you are concerned for your physical safety, you should call the police right away.  


==What about debts?==
If you are being harassed by your partner but there is not a risk to your physical safety, you have options. You could contact the police to learn if criminal charges or a “peace bond” are appropriate. With a peace bond, your partner agrees to keep the peace and follow certain conditions — for example, not contacting you for a certain time. You could apply to Family Court for a “protection order”, which can put limits on how your partner communicates or contacts you. As well, there are community and healthcare services that can help with counselling and support.  
If you have any joint credit cards with your spouse, consider calling the bank to tell them that you are separating and ask them to cancel your credit card for the joint account. You don’t want the bank to hold you responsible for new charges on the account if you can avoid it.


If you have a line of credit or an open mortgage with your spouse and you worry that your spouse might withdraw more money, consider calling the bank and asking them to:  
For more on these options, see our information on [[Family Violence (Script 155)|family violence (no. 155)]].
 
===Step 2. If you are moving out, decide what to take with you===
If you have children and want them to live with you, you may want to take them with you when you move out. If you can’t take your children with you and they are safe in the home with your partner, then you may leave them at home. Moving out without your children does not mean you have abandoned them. (If, after you move out, your partner tries to prevent you from seeing your children or spending time with them, you should see a lawyer.)
 
If you’re taking your children with you, bring their birth certificates and passports. Also bring some of their clothing, personal belongings, and (if it’s feasible) furniture.
 
Take any medications and prescriptions with you when you leave.
 
Also take the following important documents and information:
*your marriage certificate, if you’re married
*financial information, such as your tax returns for at least three years, statements from bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement savings  accounts and debt accounts, and copies of recent pay stubs
*your CareCard and other health and dental insurance cards
*your Social Insurance Number (SIN) card, your driver’s licence, your passport, and any immigration papers
*copies or pictures of your partner’s financial information, such as recent pay stubs, tax returns, company records and ledgers, bank accounts, investment accounts, and retirement savings accounts
*a record of your partner’s Social Insurance Number, CareCard number and date of birth
 
===Step 3. Suspend joint credit cards and accounts===
If you have any joint credit cards with your partner, consider calling the credit card issuer to tell them you are separating and ask them to cancel your credit card for the joint account. You don’t want the card issuer to hold you responsible for new charges on the account if you can avoid it.
 
If you have a line of credit or an open mortgage with your partner and you worry your partner might withdraw more money, consider calling the lender and asking them to:
*freeze the line of credit or mortgage
*freeze the line of credit or mortgage
*reduce the credit limit to the present balance
*reduce the credit limit to the present balance
*convert the account to deposit-only
*convert the account to deposit only
*require two signatures to withdraw more money
*require two signatures to withdraw more money


You should talk to a lawyer before doing anything that might look unfair. And you should let your spouse know if you take any of these steps.
{| class="wikitable"
|align="left"|'''Tip'''
You should talk to a lawyer before doing anything that might look unfair. And you should let your partner know if you take any of these steps.
|}


==What if you want to stay in the house?==
If you have children, it might be in the children’s best interests to stay in the home. In general, the more stability children have, the easier it is for them when their parents separate. But if you want to stay in the house with the kids, your spouse refuses to leave and you simply cannot continue to live under the same roof together, you’ll have to get legal advice to find out if you can make your spouse move out.


==Can you get a court order to make your spouse leave?==
==Common questions==
The ''Family Law Act'' allows the court to make an order giving a spouse “exclusive occupancy” of the family home. This rule applies to property that is owned and property that is rented. To get an order for exclusive occupancy, you must show the judge that:
 
===Can I take money from a joint account?===
If you have a joint bank account with your partner, you can usually take up to half the money in the account. Don’t take any more than half. If you have an income and your partner does not, or if payments for important family expenses like the mortgage come from the joint account, consider not taking anything.
 
{| class="wikitable"
|align="left"|'''Tip'''
If you do take money from a joint account, consider letting your partner know, so they are not surprised when they access the account. 
|}
 
===Can I get a court order to make my partner leave the family home?===
The ''Family Law Act'' allows the court to make an order giving a spouse “'''exclusive occupancy'''” of the family home. This rule applies to property that is owned and property that is rented. To get an order for exclusive occupancy, you must show the judge that:
 
*it's practically impossible for the two of you to remain together in the same home, and
*it's practically impossible for the two of you to remain together in the same home, and
*it’s more convenient for you to live there than for your spouse.
*it’s more convenient for you to live there than for your spouse.


If there has been family violence or there’s a risk of it, the court can make an order that only one person will be allowed to live in the home. It can also set conditions for contact and communication.  
If there has been family violence or there’s a risk of it, the court can make an order that only one person be allowed to live in the home. It can also set conditions for contact and communication.


==Can you lock your spouse out?==
===Can I lock my partner out?===
Usually each person has as much legal right to be in the home as the other until a court decides otherwise or one of you agrees to move out. Simply not wanting to live with your spouse isn’t enough for you to lock your spouse out of the home. But if you fear that there might be violence, it may be reasonable to lock your spouse out until you can contact the police or get a protection order from the Court. But if the possibility of violence isn’t an issue, then locking out your spouse could backfire and your spouse could complain that you have treated them unfairly. If possible, get legal advice before locking out your spouse.
Usually each person has as much legal right to be in the home as the other until a court decides otherwise or one of you agrees to move out. Simply not wanting to live with your partner isn’t enough for you to lock your partner out of the home. But if you fear there might be violence, it may be reasonable to lock your partner out until you can contact the police or get a protection order from the court. But if the possibility of violence isn’t an issue, then locking out your partner could backfire and your partner could complain you have treated them unfairly. If possible, get legal advice before locking out your partner.


While a spouse can be the sole owner of property, that does not necessarily mean they can demand that the other spouse move out or force the other spouse out. Whether the spouse has the legal right to demand this will depend on the facts of your case. The police will often assist when it comes to third-party disputes over property, but when it comes to separations, they are reluctant to interfere and will tell you to see a lawyer.
Where a party is the sole owner of property, that does not necessarily mean they can demand the other party move out or force the other party out. Whether a party has the legal right to demand this will depend on the facts of each case. The police will often assist when it comes to third party disputes over property, but when it comes to separations, they are reluctant to interfere and will tell you to see a lawyer.


==Who should pay the household bills?==
===Who should pay the household bills?===
If you want your spouse to move out, or if you’re asking for an order for exclusive occupancy of the home, you should be prepared to pay the household bills, such as the rent or mortgage, utilities, taxes. But you can apply for support from your spouse to help you pay these bills. The court can also make a conduct order that requires one of you to pay the household bills.
If you want your partner to move out, or if you’re asking for an order for exclusive occupancy of the home, you should be prepared to pay the household bills, such as the rent or mortgage, utilities and taxes. If you qualify under the law as a "spouse", you can apply for support from your partner to help you pay these bills. The court can also make an order that requires one of you to pay the household bills.


If you and your spouse are both on title of your home, your spouse may be able to ask that the house be sold and the money from the sale kept in trust until your case is resolved.  
If you and your partner are both on title of your home, your partner may be able to ask that the home be sold and the money from the sale kept in trust until your case is resolved.


These issues are complex, and you should speak to a lawyer before deciding what to do.
These issues are complex, and you should speak to a lawyer before deciding what to do.


==What if your spouse does not want to sell the house?==
===What if my partner does not want to sell the home?===
If you are joint owners of your family home and your spouse refuses to sell the home, you will likely need to sue to force the sale of the home. The Court could make orders about selling the home and how it is to be sold, including who the real estate agent should be. If the sale of the home will prejudice (harm) your spouse’s interest in the home, then a Court may not order the sale of the home or the order may be for a later date or after other issues in the case have been settled. You should speak with a lawyer about what is required to force the sale of the home and whether a court will make that order.  
If you are joint owners of your family home and your partner refuses to sell the home, you will likely need to sue to force the sale of the home. The court can make orders about selling the home and how it is to be sold, including who the real estate agent should be. If the sale of the home will prejudice (harm) your partner’s interest in the home, then a court may not order the sale of the home or the order may be for a later date or after other issues in the case have been settled. You should speak with a lawyer about what is required to force the sale of the home and whether a court will make that order.
 
===Should I get a separation agreement?===
The best solution when a couple separates is to get an agreement, as long as the couple can get along well enough to negotiate a settlement or negotiate an agreement through their lawyers. A '''separation agreement''' puts in writing who will live in the home. It can also sort out other issues, such as if and when the home will be sold, how the children will be cared for, and whether support will be paid. See our information on [[Separation and Separation Agreements (Script 115)|separation agreements (no. 115)]].
 
{| class="wikitable"
|align="left"|'''Tip'''
Get a lawyer’s advice before you sign a separation agreement, even one negotiated by a mediator, to fully understand what the agreement means and how it affects your legal rights and obligations.
|}
 


==Should you get a separation agreement?==
==Get help==
The best solution when a couple separates is to get an agreement, as long as the couple can get along well enough to negotiate a settlement or negotiate an agreement through their lawyers. A separation agreement puts in writing who will live in the house. It can also sort out other issues, such as if and when the house will be sold, how the children will be cared for, and whether support will be paid. Get a lawyer’s advice before you sign a separation agreement, even one negotiated by a mediator, to get proper information about what the agreement means and how it affects your legal rights and obligations.


==What if your spouse harasses you after you have separated?==
===With more information===
If you are being harassed by your spouse and are concerned for your physical safety, you should call the police right away. If you are being harassed by your spouse, but are not concerned about your physical safety, you should speak with a lawyer to discuss the options available to you to respond to the harassment, which may include filing a police complaint, putting your spouse on notice about their behaviour, obtaining a court order restricting communication and contact, obtaining a court order allowing you to remain in the home without your spouse, or a protection order, etc. What option you choose will depend on the facts of your situation, and whether you have children.


==Summary==
The wikibook '''''JP Boyd on Family Law''''', hosted by Courthouse Libraries BC, provides comprehensive information on separation and other aspects of family law.
Your first decision when you separate will be whether you need to live in separate homes, and if so, whether you or your spouse will move out. If you want to stay, but your spouse refuses to leave, you’ll have to go to court for an order giving you the sole right to live in the home if you can’t continue to live under the same roof. If you can agree on what will happen after you’ve separated, you can make a separation agreement.


==More information==
:Web: [https://wiki.clicklaw.bc.ca/index.php?title=Separation wiki.clicklaw.bc.ca]
*The other Dial-A-Law scripts in this [http://www.cbabc.org/For-the-Public/Dial-A-Law/Scripts/Family-Law?_ga=2.192651690.1465218859.1540827756-1141987961.1503074809 family law series]
*''[http://wiki.clicklaw.bc.ca/index.php/JP_Boyd_on_Family_Law JP Boyd on Family Law]''




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[updated October 2018]
[updated October 2018]


'''The above was last reviewed for legal accuracy by Samantha de Wit of Brown Henderson Melbye, and edited by John Blois.'''
'''The above was last reviewed for legal accuracy by [http://bhmlawyers.ca/team-2/samantha-de-wit/ Samantha de Wit], Brown Henderson Melbye and [http://jimalelawcorp.com/about-zahra/ Zahra H. Jimale], Jimale Law Corporation.'''


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Revision as of 18:01, 24 January 2019

When a couple separates, a question arises: who’s going to move out? Learn your rights when it comes to deciding who moves out, and the steps to enforce them.

Understand your legal rights

Who should move out

Some couples keep living together after they separate; it’s cheaper to live in one place with one set of household bills than in two places with two sets of bills. But this isn’t possible for everyone, particularly if there is a risk of family violence, or there is conflict in the relationship and children who live at home.

Several considerations go into deciding who will stay in the home and who will move out:

  • Do the two of you get along well enough to stay in the home together?
  • Will either one of you be keeping the home after separation?
  • Can either of you afford to keep it?

If you have children, there are more considerations:

  • Where are the children likely to stay after the separation, and who will be mostly responsible for looking after them?
  • Where do the children go to school or daycare? Where are their extracurricular activities located?
  • Can you afford to get a second home big enough for you and the children?
  • If you’re thinking of staying in the home together for the time being, how much are the children exposed to your conflict?

It often makes sense for the person who will be primarily caring for the children or keeping the home (after buying out the other party’s interest in the home) to stay in the home, and the other person to move out.

When you move out

There’s no rule that says when you can and can’t move out, or that you must tell your partner ahead of time that you’re moving out. If it’s a very emotional separation or there has been violence between the two of you, or there is risk of violence, you might want to move out when your partner isn’t home.

Tip

You should seek legal advice if you’re unsure about whether to move out, particularly if you’re worried how it will affect who gets the home or how parenting arrangements will be decided.

You can move back in after you’ve moved out

If you both own the home or are both listed on the lease or rental agreement, you can move back in if you want. It’s your place too. But you should let your partner know about your plans first. You may want to think twice about moving back in if there’s a risk it will escalate conflict. Also, if you can’t get along, you may need a court order to move back in or force your partner to move out. Get legal advice in this case.

If you move out, you do not risk losing a share of the home

You may be worried that if you move out of the family home, this will affect who gets what. Don’t worry. If you have a right to a share in the family home, you will not lose that right by moving out. However, if you move out of the home while your partner remains, it might be difficult later to convince the court you should be allowed to move back in while you work out the issues flowing from your breakup.

If the family home is in only your partner’s name, you can make a court filing to protect your interest in the property. (You need to be a “spouse”, which includes living together in a “marriage-like relationship” for at least two years.) If you haven’t started a court case yet, you can file a charge against the property under the Land (Spouse Protection) Act to prevent your spouse from selling it without notice to you. If a court case has started, you can file a certificate of pending litigation against the property under the Land Title Act to protect your interest in the family home. The certificate means the property can’t be refinanced or sold without you knowing. If you have a choice, a certificate will better protect you.

If you live together in rented accommodation

If you and your partner live in rented accommodation, then it often comes down to whose name is on the lease or rental agreement. That person is legally responsible for paying the rent.

If the party planning to remain in the rented accommodation and take over the related expenses is not on the lease or rental agreement, arrangements need to be made with the landlord to transfer the agreement into that party’s name.

If the lease or rental agreement is in both of your names, arrangements need to be made to transfer it into the name of the party remaining in the accommodation.

If both parties want to move out, then arrangements need to be made with the landlord to end the agreement or set up a sublet.

Rights to household belongings

Each of you has the right to keep anything you brought into the relationship. Couples who qualify as “spouses” under the law (which includes living together in a “marriage-like relationship” for at least two years), are presumed to share in the things they acquired during the relationship. This is called family property.

If you’re moving out

If you’re the one who is moving out and you’re taking the children with you, you’ll need to consider their needs when deciding what to take and what to leave behind. But don’t strip the place bare or take more than a fair share, and don’t take things out of spite. Later on, you can always apply to court if there are more things you want from the home and you and your partner can’t agree on whether you can have them.

If you’re staying in the home

If you are the one remaining in the home and your partner has taken no steps to remove their belongings, you should take the following steps before getting rid of those belongings.

If the property is in your name alone (owned or rented) and your partner’s financial interest in it is small, you can give your partner a deadline — in writing — to remove their belongings and tell them what you will do if they miss that deadline. That may motivate them to move.

If the property is in joint names (owned or rented), then your partner may have a legitimate claim to leave their possessions in the home until the claim is resolved.


Next steps

Step 1. Make sure you’re safe

If you are concerned for your physical safety, you should call the police right away.

If you are being harassed by your partner but there is not a risk to your physical safety, you have options. You could contact the police to learn if criminal charges or a “peace bond” are appropriate. With a peace bond, your partner agrees to keep the peace and follow certain conditions — for example, not contacting you for a certain time. You could apply to Family Court for a “protection order”, which can put limits on how your partner communicates or contacts you. As well, there are community and healthcare services that can help with counselling and support.

For more on these options, see our information on family violence (no. 155).

Step 2. If you are moving out, decide what to take with you

If you have children and want them to live with you, you may want to take them with you when you move out. If you can’t take your children with you and they are safe in the home with your partner, then you may leave them at home. Moving out without your children does not mean you have abandoned them. (If, after you move out, your partner tries to prevent you from seeing your children or spending time with them, you should see a lawyer.)

If you’re taking your children with you, bring their birth certificates and passports. Also bring some of their clothing, personal belongings, and (if it’s feasible) furniture.

Take any medications and prescriptions with you when you leave.

Also take the following important documents and information:

  • your marriage certificate, if you’re married
  • financial information, such as your tax returns for at least three years, statements from bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement savings accounts and debt accounts, and copies of recent pay stubs
  • your CareCard and other health and dental insurance cards
  • your Social Insurance Number (SIN) card, your driver’s licence, your passport, and any immigration papers
  • copies or pictures of your partner’s financial information, such as recent pay stubs, tax returns, company records and ledgers, bank accounts, investment accounts, and retirement savings accounts
  • a record of your partner’s Social Insurance Number, CareCard number and date of birth

Step 3. Suspend joint credit cards and accounts

If you have any joint credit cards with your partner, consider calling the credit card issuer to tell them you are separating and ask them to cancel your credit card for the joint account. You don’t want the card issuer to hold you responsible for new charges on the account if you can avoid it.

If you have a line of credit or an open mortgage with your partner and you worry your partner might withdraw more money, consider calling the lender and asking them to:

  • freeze the line of credit or mortgage
  • reduce the credit limit to the present balance
  • convert the account to deposit only
  • require two signatures to withdraw more money
Tip

You should talk to a lawyer before doing anything that might look unfair. And you should let your partner know if you take any of these steps.


Common questions

Can I take money from a joint account?

If you have a joint bank account with your partner, you can usually take up to half the money in the account. Don’t take any more than half. If you have an income and your partner does not, or if payments for important family expenses like the mortgage come from the joint account, consider not taking anything.

Tip

If you do take money from a joint account, consider letting your partner know, so they are not surprised when they access the account.

Can I get a court order to make my partner leave the family home?

The Family Law Act allows the court to make an order giving a spouse “exclusive occupancy” of the family home. This rule applies to property that is owned and property that is rented. To get an order for exclusive occupancy, you must show the judge that:

  • it's practically impossible for the two of you to remain together in the same home, and
  • it’s more convenient for you to live there than for your spouse.

If there has been family violence or there’s a risk of it, the court can make an order that only one person be allowed to live in the home. It can also set conditions for contact and communication.

Can I lock my partner out?

Usually each person has as much legal right to be in the home as the other until a court decides otherwise or one of you agrees to move out. Simply not wanting to live with your partner isn’t enough for you to lock your partner out of the home. But if you fear there might be violence, it may be reasonable to lock your partner out until you can contact the police or get a protection order from the court. But if the possibility of violence isn’t an issue, then locking out your partner could backfire and your partner could complain you have treated them unfairly. If possible, get legal advice before locking out your partner.

Where a party is the sole owner of property, that does not necessarily mean they can demand the other party move out or force the other party out. Whether a party has the legal right to demand this will depend on the facts of each case. The police will often assist when it comes to third party disputes over property, but when it comes to separations, they are reluctant to interfere and will tell you to see a lawyer.

Who should pay the household bills?

If you want your partner to move out, or if you’re asking for an order for exclusive occupancy of the home, you should be prepared to pay the household bills, such as the rent or mortgage, utilities and taxes. If you qualify under the law as a "spouse", you can apply for support from your partner to help you pay these bills. The court can also make an order that requires one of you to pay the household bills.

If you and your partner are both on title of your home, your partner may be able to ask that the home be sold and the money from the sale kept in trust until your case is resolved.

These issues are complex, and you should speak to a lawyer before deciding what to do.

What if my partner does not want to sell the home?

If you are joint owners of your family home and your partner refuses to sell the home, you will likely need to sue to force the sale of the home. The court can make orders about selling the home and how it is to be sold, including who the real estate agent should be. If the sale of the home will prejudice (harm) your partner’s interest in the home, then a court may not order the sale of the home or the order may be for a later date or after other issues in the case have been settled. You should speak with a lawyer about what is required to force the sale of the home and whether a court will make that order.

Should I get a separation agreement?

The best solution when a couple separates is to get an agreement, as long as the couple can get along well enough to negotiate a settlement or negotiate an agreement through their lawyers. A separation agreement puts in writing who will live in the home. It can also sort out other issues, such as if and when the home will be sold, how the children will be cared for, and whether support will be paid. See our information on separation agreements (no. 115).

Tip

Get a lawyer’s advice before you sign a separation agreement, even one negotiated by a mediator, to fully understand what the agreement means and how it affects your legal rights and obligations.


Get help

With more information

The wikibook JP Boyd on Family Law, hosted by Courthouse Libraries BC, provides comprehensive information on separation and other aspects of family law.

Web: wiki.clicklaw.bc.ca


[updated October 2018]

The above was last reviewed for legal accuracy by Samantha de Wit, Brown Henderson Melbye and Zahra H. Jimale, Jimale Law Corporation.


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