Difference between revisions of "I Just Separated from the Other Parent of My Children"

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{{Legal Help Guide TOC}}If you and the other parent of your children have separated, you need to make decisions about who will have '''custody''' (who the children will live with and who will make smaller, day-to-day decisions) and how much '''access''' the other parent will have to the children.
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| text      = '''Alert:''' Extensive changes to family law in British Columbia came into effect on March 18, 2013. ''[[JP Boyd on Family Law]]'' has extensive, updated coverage of [[Separation]]. <br>


You will also need to decide how you will handle '''guardianship''' (long-term decisions about the children's health, education and welfare) and '''maintenance''' (financial support for the children and, if necessary, you or the other parent).
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If you and the other parent of your children have separated, you need to make decisions about who <span class="noglossary">will</span> have ''parental responsibility'' for the children, which includes things like:
*making day-to-day decisions affecting the children,
*having day-to-day care of the children,
*making decisions about where the children <span class="noglossary">will</span> live, and
*making decisions about the children's education and extra-curricular activities.
You <span class="noglossary">will</span> also need to decide if the other parent <span class="noglossary">will</span> have ''parenting time'' or ''contact'' with the children, and how you <span class="noglossary">will</span> handle ''support'' (regular financial support for the children and, if necessary, you or the other parent).  


== First steps ==
== First steps ==


# Ensure that you and your children are safe. This may mean leaving the family home for awhile and staying with friends or staying in a transition house. Look in the Yellow pages under "Crisis Centres", or contact [[VictimLINK]], listed in the Resource Guide. The local police station can also give you information about transition houses and other victim services.
#Get some initial help with:
# If you need a lawyer but cannot afford one on your own, see if you qualify for legal aid representation. (See [[Legal Aid Representation|Legal aid representation]] in the Resource Guide for information about applying for legal aid.) If you qualify, the Legal Services Society will appoint a lawyer to advise you and represent you in court.<br /><br />If you don't qualify for legal aid representation, or if you think you can resolve your issues through mediation, you may wish to contact a [[Family Justice Centres|Family Justice Centre]]; see the Resource Guide for contact information. Counsellors at Family Justice Centres can provide information, mediation and assistance with applications involving custody, access, guardianship and maintenance in Family Court. However, they have no jurisdiction to help with divorce or division of family assets.  
#*finding out what your legal rights and those of your children are. A lawyer is the professional most likely to assist you; and
# If you want to apply for custody, guardianship, access or maintenance in Family Court, complete an '''Application to Obtain an Order'''. Family Court forms and self-help information are also available online at the [[Family Law in BC]] website, listed in the Resource Guide. Click on the shortcut "Self-help guides", scroll down to "Family orders" and click on the appropriate link. If you do not feel it is safe to wait, you may ask the judge to make the order "without notice", meaning that the court will make its order without your ex-partner having a chance to be heard or being notified in advance that you are seeking an order. Without notice orders are always interim (short-term) and your ex-partner will eventually have a chance to speak to the judge before a final order is made.
#*deciding whether mediation, collaborative family law or other kinds of alternate dispute resolution (ADR) are safe and likely to work fairly for you. If there have been problems of violence, threats, intimidation, or financial abuse, or if there has been a history of controlling behaviour, ADR may not be right for you at this time, due to a power imbalance in your relationship. Family Justice Counsellors, mediators and lawyers are the professionals most often assisting with this.
#If there has been family violence, see the article [[My partner is abusing me and my kids]].
#You may want to take or retain copies of tax, banking and financial documents, passports, marriage certificates and other financial documents with you.
#If you need a lawyer but cannot afford one on your own, see if you qualify for [[Legal Aid Representation|legal aid <span class="noglossary">representation</span>]]. If you don't qualify for legal aid <span class="noglossary">representation</span>, or if you think you can resolve your issues through mediation, you may wish to contact a [[Family Justice Centres|Family Justice Centre]]. Counsellors at Family Justice Centres can provide information, mediation and assistance with applications involving guardianship, parenting time, and support in Family Court. However, they have no jurisdiction to help with divorce or division of family property and debts.  
#If you want to apply for a court order dealing with who the children will live with, parenting time, or financial support, you can apply to Family Court. Family Court forms and self-help information are available online at the [[Family Law in BC]] website. Click on the shortcut "Self-help guides," scroll down to "Family orders" and click on the appropriate link. If you feel the situation is urgent, you may ask the judge to make the order "without notice," meaning that the court ''can'' make its order ''if justified'', without your ex-partner being notified in <span class="noglossary">advance</span> that you are seeking an order, or having a chance to be heard. "Without notice" orders are ''almost always'' interim (short-term), and provide a date for your case to come back to court, etc.


== What happens next ==
== What happens next ==


If you qualify for legal aid representation, a lawyer will be appointed to represent you in your case and lead you through the court process.
If you qualify for legal aid <span class="noglossary">representation</span>, a lawyer <span class="noglossary">will</span> be appointed to represent you in your case and lead you through the court process.  
 
You can also contact a Family Justice Counsellor and set up an appointment to review your situation. The Family Justice Counsellor will give you information about family law issues, offer to mediate between you and your ex, and help you fill out court forms if necessary.


If you file an Application to Obtain an Order, you will have to arrange to serve your ex with a copy of the Application and notice of the court date, unless it is dangerous or impractical to do so. A court date will be set by the Family Court once your ex files a '''Reply'''.
If you apply for a court order, you <span class="noglossary">will</span> have to arrange to serve your ex with a copy of the application and notice of the court date, unless it is dangerous or impractical to do so. A court date <span class="noglossary">will</span> be set by the court once your ex files a reply.


== Where to get help ==
== Where to get help ==


See the [[Resource Guide]] for a list of helpful resources. Your best bets are:
See the [[Resource List for Legal Help for British Columbians|Resource List]] in this Guide for a list of helpful resources. Your best bets are:
* [[Legal Aid Representation|Legal aid representation]] to see if you qualify for legal aid.
*[[Legal Aid Representation|Legal aid <span class="noglossary">representation</span>]] to see if you qualify for legal aid.
* [[Family Law in BC]] website, for forms, self-help materials and other legal information about family legal issues.
*[[Family Law in BC]] website, for forms, self-help materials and other legal information about family legal issues.
* [[Duty Counsel|Family duty counsel]] (Provincial or Supreme), for some assistance on the day you have to appear in court.
*The Clicklaw Wikibook ''[[JP Boyd on Family Law]]'' and in particular the chapter "[[Separation & Divorce]]."
* [[Family Justice Centres|Family Justice Centres and Family Lawyer Advice Project]], to make an appointment with a Family Justice Counsellor to discuss custody, guardianship, access or maintenance.
*[[Duty Counsel|Family duty counsel]] (Provincial or Supreme), for some assistance on the day you have to appear in court.
* [[Supreme Court Self-help Centre]] website for self-help materials and other legal information about Supreme Court procedures and representing yourself in Supreme Court.
*[[Family Justice Centres]], to make an appointment with a family justice counsellor to discuss guardianship, parenting time, and support.  
* [[Family LawLINE]].
*[[Family LawLINE]].
* [[Access Pro Bono]], [[Lawyer Referral Service]], [[Salvation Army Pro Bono Lawyer Consultation Program]], and [[Private Bar Lawyers]].
*[[Access Pro Bono]], [[Lawyer Referral Service]], and [[Private Bar Lawyers|private bar lawyers]].


Before meeting with a lawyer or advocate, complete the form [[Preparing for Your Interview]] included in this Guide. Make sure you bring copies of all documents relating to your case.
Before meeting with a lawyer or advocate, complete the form [[Preparing for Your Interview]] included in this Guide. Make sure you bring copies of all documents relating to your case.
{{REVIEWED | reviewer = [[Stephen Wright]], March 2017}}


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Latest revision as of 04:31, 2 May 2017

If you and the other parent of your children have separated, you need to make decisions about who will have parental responsibility for the children, which includes things like:

  • making day-to-day decisions affecting the children,
  • having day-to-day care of the children,
  • making decisions about where the children will live, and
  • making decisions about the children's education and extra-curricular activities.

You will also need to decide if the other parent will have parenting time or contact with the children, and how you will handle support (regular financial support for the children and, if necessary, you or the other parent).

First steps[edit]

  1. Get some initial help with:
    • finding out what your legal rights and those of your children are. A lawyer is the professional most likely to assist you; and
    • deciding whether mediation, collaborative family law or other kinds of alternate dispute resolution (ADR) are safe and likely to work fairly for you. If there have been problems of violence, threats, intimidation, or financial abuse, or if there has been a history of controlling behaviour, ADR may not be right for you at this time, due to a power imbalance in your relationship. Family Justice Counsellors, mediators and lawyers are the professionals most often assisting with this.
  2. If there has been family violence, see the article My partner is abusing me and my kids.
  3. You may want to take or retain copies of tax, banking and financial documents, passports, marriage certificates and other financial documents with you.
  4. If you need a lawyer but cannot afford one on your own, see if you qualify for legal aid representation. If you don't qualify for legal aid representation, or if you think you can resolve your issues through mediation, you may wish to contact a Family Justice Centre. Counsellors at Family Justice Centres can provide information, mediation and assistance with applications involving guardianship, parenting time, and support in Family Court. However, they have no jurisdiction to help with divorce or division of family property and debts.
  5. If you want to apply for a court order dealing with who the children will live with, parenting time, or financial support, you can apply to Family Court. Family Court forms and self-help information are available online at the Family Law in BC website. Click on the shortcut "Self-help guides," scroll down to "Family orders" and click on the appropriate link. If you feel the situation is urgent, you may ask the judge to make the order "without notice," meaning that the court can make its order if justified, without your ex-partner being notified in advance that you are seeking an order, or having a chance to be heard. "Without notice" orders are almost always interim (short-term), and provide a date for your case to come back to court, etc.

What happens next[edit]

If you qualify for legal aid representation, a lawyer will be appointed to represent you in your case and lead you through the court process.

If you apply for a court order, you will have to arrange to serve your ex with a copy of the application and notice of the court date, unless it is dangerous or impractical to do so. A court date will be set by the court once your ex files a reply.

Where to get help[edit]

See the Resource List in this Guide for a list of helpful resources. Your best bets are:

Before meeting with a lawyer or advocate, complete the form Preparing for Your Interview included in this Guide. Make sure you bring copies of all documents relating to your case.

This information applies to British Columbia, Canada. Last reviewed for legal accuracy by Stephen Wright, March 2017.


Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 Canada Licence Legal Help for British Columbians © Cliff Thorstenson and Courthouse Libraries BC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 Canada Licence.