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Difference between revisions of "Parenting Apart"
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#Much of the legal language in the Benchbook plan is suited to American law and won't be suitable for British Columbia parenting plans; you'll have to adapt the terminology accordingly. | #Much of the legal language in the Benchbook plan is suited to American law and won't be suitable for British Columbia parenting plans; you'll have to adapt the terminology accordingly. | ||
#The plans refer to American subjects (like holidays and social security numbers) that you'll have to change or delete. | #The plans refer to American subjects (like holidays and social security numbers) that you'll have to change or delete. | ||
#The plans can adapted to include visitation schedules that will evolve as the children grow up. | #The plans can be adapted to include visitation schedules that will evolve as the children grow up. | ||
You might also want to have a look at the [http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/ Parenting Time Guidelines] found in the Indiana Rules of Court, which are extremely detailed and very child-focused. | You might also want to have a look at the [http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/ Parenting Time Guidelines] found in the Indiana Rules of Court, which are extremely detailed and very child-focused. | ||
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Weekends can be especially important to schedule carefully, and it may be important that they be shared between parents, particularly if the children are going to school. Often the parent who has the children during the workweek becomes the disciplinarian, since that parent has the burden of telling the kids to go to sleep on time, do their homework, and so forth. The other parent, on the other hand, becomes the "fun" parent, taking the kids to the park, to the movies, and buying them treats on the weekend. | Weekends can be especially important to schedule carefully, and it may be important that they be shared between parents, particularly if the children are going to school. Often the parent who has the children during the workweek becomes the disciplinarian, since that parent has the burden of telling the kids to go to sleep on time, do their homework, and so forth. The other parent, on the other hand, becomes the "fun" parent, taking the kids to the park, to the movies, and buying them treats on the weekend. | ||
It may be important that weekends be shared to avoid the children developing a | It may be important that weekends be shared to avoid the children developing a discipline parent/fun parent dynamic. It is rarely a good idea to come up with a schedule that gives one parent all of the children's weekends, unless of course that is what your particular family needs and what will be in your children's best interests. | ||
====Statutory holidays==== | ====Statutory holidays and Professional Development Days==== | ||
Make sure that statutory holidays and school professional development days are taken into <span class="noglossary">account</span> when you work out a parenting schedule. Many schedules that require a parent to return the child on Sunday evening, for example, allow that the child be returned on Monday evening if the Monday is a statutory holiday or professional development day at your child’s school. | Make sure that statutory holidays and school professional development days are taken into <span class="noglossary">account</span> when you work out a parenting schedule. Many schedules that require a parent to return the child on Sunday evening, for example, allow that the child be returned on Monday evening if the Monday is a statutory holiday or professional development day at your child’s school. | ||
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====School holidays==== | ====School holidays==== | ||
The main school holidays are the winter break (usually about two to two-and-a-half weeks), the spring break (a week or two weeks) and the summer holiday (slightly more than two months). These holidays can be split up, shared between parents every other year, or treated as if the child was in school. | The main school holidays are the winter break (usually about two to two-and-a-half weeks), the spring break (a week or two weeks) and the summer holiday (slightly more than two months). These holidays can be split up, shared between parents every other year, or treated with the same schedule as if the child was in school. | ||
Particularly during the summer, both of the parents should have a fair chunk of time with the children | Particularly during the school closures during the summer, both of the parents should have a fair chunk of time with the children. Summers don't have to be split equally — some people's work schedules just won't give them that much time off — but each parent should at least have a solid week with the children. During times like this, the usual parenting schedule is suspended so that each parent's holiday visits are uninterrupted. | ||
For working parents, summer holidays may require cooperation (or not) regarding the scheduling of camps and day camps. Ideally, parents can arrange their holidays around the children's availability. However, not every parent has that flexibility. What parents need to keep in mind are the memories that they are creating for their children. Will there children remember summer holidays as being a 'tug-of-war' between parents, or a time of relaxation and fun? | |||
====Children's refusal to visit==== | ====Children's refusal to visit==== | ||
