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Difference between revisions of "How Do I Start a Collaborative Process with My Spouse?"
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How Do I Start a Collaborative Process with My Spouse? (view source)
Revision as of 02:54, 26 May 2019
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==Pick the right moment== | ==Pick the right moment== | ||
You can't force your ex to start | You can't force your ex to start the collaborative process with you, you can only do it with their agreement. Your ex isn't likely to agree to try a collaborative approach to settlement if they are still pissed off about a recent <span class="noglossary">argument</span> or still resentful about the end of the relationship. | ||
When you've got the right moment, suggesting | When you've got the right moment, suggesting the collaborative process can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting them out for a cup of coffee at the local Tim Hortons: | ||
<blockquote>"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still a bit upset about everything, | <blockquote>"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still a bit upset about everything, and we really need to make a few decisions and I don't think we're going to be able to do this on our own. I've asked my friend Harkamal what happened with her and Baljinder, and she said that they used the collaborative divorce process."</blockquote> | ||
At this point, it's all about getting your ex to try | At this point, it's all about getting your ex to try the collaborative process, and it's your job to sell the idea. Here are some reasons why the collaborative approach is a really, really good idea: | ||
* | *the collaborative process <span class="noglossary">will</span> give you and your ex the best chance of leaving your relationship on good terms, | ||
*you can both participate in making the important decisions about your kids, your money and your property, | *you can both participate in making the important decisions about your kids, your money and your property, | ||
*other helping professionals, like registered clinical counsellors and financial experts, can be brought into the process whenever | *other helping professionals, like registered clinical counsellors and financial experts, can be brought into the process whenever their specific expertise would help, without paying the lawyers to do everything, | ||
*everyone is committed to finding a settlement without going to court, including the lawyers, | *everyone is committed to finding a settlement without going to court, including the lawyers, | ||
*you can create the solution that is best for you and your family, | *you can create the solution that is best for you and your family, | ||
*settlements reached through negotiation tend to last longer than decisions imposed by a judge after a trial, | *settlements reached through negotiation tend to last longer than decisions imposed by a judge after a trial, | ||
* | *the collaborative process is cheaper than going to court, and | ||
*you'll be done in a fraction of the time that you would have spent in court. | *you'll be done in a fraction of the time that you would have spent in court. | ||
