Difference between revisions of "How Do I Start a Collaborative Process with My Spouse?"
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You can't force your ex to start the collaborative process with you, you can only do it with their agreement. Your ex isn't likely to agree to try a collaborative approach to settlement if they are still pissed off about a recent <span class="noglossary">argument</span> or still resentful about the end of the relationship. | You can't force your ex to start the collaborative process with you, you can only do it with their agreement. Your ex isn't likely to agree to try a collaborative approach to settlement if they are still pissed off about a recent <span class="noglossary">argument</span> or still resentful about the end of the relationship. | ||
When you've got the right moment, suggesting the collaborative process can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting them | When you've got the right moment, suggesting the collaborative process can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting them to sit down at a coffee shop: | ||
<blockquote>"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still a bit upset about everything, and we really need to make a few decisions and I don't think we're going to be able to do this on our own. I've asked my friend Harkamal what happened with her and Baljinder, and she said that they used the collaborative divorce process."</blockquote> | <blockquote>"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still a bit upset about everything, and we really need to make a few decisions and I don't think we're going to be able to do this on our own. I've asked my friend Harkamal what happened with her and Baljinder, and she said that they used the collaborative divorce process."</blockquote> | ||
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Now that your ex has agreed to the collaborative process, you each need to hire a lawyer trained in the collaborative practice model and get the process underway. | Now that your ex has agreed to the collaborative process, you each need to hire a lawyer trained in the collaborative practice model and get the process underway. | ||
Lawyers who work in the collaborative practice model <span class="noglossary">will</span> say as much in their advertising. Before you hire your lawyer, first ask around. Have any of your friends used a collaborative lawyer, and what did they think of them? You can also find a list of lawyers | Lawyers who work in the collaborative practice model <span class="noglossary">will</span> say as much in their advertising. Before you hire your lawyer, first ask around. Have any of your friends used a collaborative lawyer, and what did they think of them? You can also find a list of lawyers through the BC-wide [http://www.bccollaborativerostersociety.com Collaborative Roster Society], or one of the other groups listed under the heading "Finding a collaborative professional" in the [[Collaborative Process]] section in the [[Resolving Family Law Problems out of Court]] chapter. Collaborative practice groups <span class="noglossary">will</span> have lists of their members who are lawyers, mental health professionals, and financial specialists, and the odds are pretty good that if you find a collaborative lawyer who you think you'll work well with, the lawyer <span class="noglossary">will</span> be able to recommend a handful of other lawyers from the same practice group for your ex. | ||
==For more information== | ==For more information== | ||