Difference between revisions of "Behaviour, Boundaries and Privacy after Separation"
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First, by cranking up the emotional temperature, you increase the likelihood that your family law problems will be resolved in court. While there's nothing necessarily wrong with that, resolving problems in court takes longer and costs more money than resolving them any other way. | First, by cranking up the emotional temperature, you increase the likelihood that your family law problems will be resolved in court. While there's nothing necessarily wrong with that, resolving problems in court takes longer and costs more money than resolving them any other way. | ||
Secondly, the two key predictors of children's adaptation to their parents' separation are | Secondly, I'm sure you want to move past your separation and on with your life. I know that's a tall order, especially when the relationship you've left was a long one, but the more you remain stuck in the indignant and vengeful phase, the longer it'll take you to reach that happy place where you merely regret your relationship, or its end, or both. | ||
Thirdly, arbitration and litigation are based on ''evidence'', and evidence comes in many forms. It comes as email print-outs, screen-shots of text messages, downloads of social media accounts, photocopies of notes and letters, and all the wonderful things forensic technicians can pull out of computers and smartphones. Do you want your arbitrator or judge reading through this sort of stuff? Your anger might be wholly justified, but I don't think you want someone in a position to decide your case reading through all the things you said when you were angry. | |||
Fourthly and most importantly, the two key predictors of children's adaptation to their parents' separation are the quality and strength of their relationships with each parent and the nature and duration of the conflict between their parents. This is tremendously important because parental conflict has a number of short- and long-term negative impacts on children's wellbeing. The longer you and your ex jab at each other, the longer it'll take you to move out of conflict. | |||
The problem, of course, is resisting that temptation. I can't tell you how to do that; it's different for everyone. All I can do is emphasize how important it is to separate with as much dignity and grace as you can muster. | |||
===Managing your online life=== | |||
Don't trash your ex on the internet. You can try to delete your comments later, when you regret them, but the internet never forgets. It is almost guaranteed that there's a record of your comment somewhere in cyberspace. This includes: | |||
#slagging your ex on Facebook, Instragram and other kinds of social media; | |||
#leaving negative reviews on professional or commercial rating websites, like Yelp, Angie's List, LawyerRatingz or Rate my Professors; | |||
#publishing copies of letters, photos and personal notes online; and, | |||
#publishing copies of affidavits and other court documents online; | |||
It's also worth remembering how tech savvy your kids are or will be. Have you every googled yourself? Most people have. Ask yourself what your kids are going to find when they google ''you''. | |||
===Managing real life=== | |||
Complaints to professional organizers. | |||
trash talking | |||
Police, MCFD complaints | |||
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revenge porn | revenge porn | ||
fake profiles on dating apps | |||
fake personal ads | |||
privacy tips and cautions | privacy tips and cautions | ||