Difference between revisions of "Children and Parenting after Separation"

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(Changes to ensure consistency of language with How Do I sections)
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====Custody and access====
====Custody and access====


The ''Divorce Act'' talks about the care of children in terms of ''custody'' and ''access''. Custody is about the right to have the child with you and the right to make decisions about how the child is cared for and raised. Access is about the child's schedule of time with his or her parents. A parent who has access but doesn't have custody is still entitled to have information about the health, education and well-being of the child.
The ''Divorce Act'' talks about the care of children in terms of ''custody'' and ''access''. Custody is about the right to have the child with you and the right to make decisions about how the child is cared for and raised. Access is about the child's schedule of time with their parents. A parent who has access but doesn't have custody is still entitled to have information about the health, education and well-being of the child.


====Guardianship and parental responsibilities====
====Guardianship and parental responsibilities====
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*Will the proposed order be in the child's long-term best interests?
*Will the proposed order be in the child's long-term best interests?
*Will the proposed order disrupt the child's present life? Is there an established status quo that the child has already settled into?
*Will the proposed order disrupt the child's present life? Is there an established status quo that the child has already settled into?
*Will the proposal disrupt the child's schooling, or take the child away from his or her friends and family?
*Will the proposal disrupt the child's schooling, or take the child away from their friends and family?


You should bear in mind these quotes from Mr. Justice Spencer in ''[http://canlii.ca/t/1dll3 Tyabji v. Sandana]'', 1994 CanLII 410 (BC SC) a 1994 decision of the British Columbia Supreme Court:
You should bear in mind these quotes from Mr. Justice Spencer in ''[http://canlii.ca/t/1dll3 Tyabji v. Sandana]'', 1994 CanLII 410 (BC SC) a 1994 decision of the British Columbia Supreme Court:
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#people who are parents under an assisted reproduction agreement, and
#people who are parents under an assisted reproduction agreement, and
#a parent who has never lived with the other parent but "regularly cares" for his or her child.
#a parent who has never lived with the other parent but "regularly cares" for their child.


The ''[[Divorce Act]]'' does not make any presumptions about who has custody of the children after separation.
The ''[[Divorce Act]]'' does not make any presumptions about who has custody of the children after separation.
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When parents have joint custody, both parents have the right to the day-to-day care of the child, although the child may spend more time at the home of one parent than the other; sometimes a lot more time. Parents can have joint custody even when one of them only sees the child on the weekends or even when the parents live in different provinces. There is no connection between having joint custody and the amount of time each parent has with the child.
When parents have joint custody, both parents have the right to the day-to-day care of the child, although the child may spend more time at the home of one parent than the other; sometimes a lot more time. Parents can have joint custody even when one of them only sees the child on the weekends or even when the parents live in different provinces. There is no connection between having joint custody and the amount of time each parent has with the child.


Access is the schedule of the child's time between his or her parents.
Access is the schedule of the child's time between their parents.


It is very important to understand that a parent's access rights to a child are entirely separate from that parent's obligation to pay child support. Child support is not a fee paid or charged to see one's child. It is never appropriate to withhold access because a parent missed a child support payment, nor is it ever appropriate to stop paying child support because access has been withheld. The courts do not look kindly on parents who have engaged in this sort of conduct.
It is very important to understand that a parent's access rights to a child are entirely separate from that parent's obligation to pay child support. Child support is not a fee paid or charged to see one's child. It is never appropriate to withhold access because a parent missed a child support payment, nor is it ever appropriate to stop paying child support because access has been withheld. The courts do not look kindly on parents who have engaged in this sort of conduct.
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''Parallel parenting'' is a way of distributing parental responsibilities between guardians that is best suited for situations where each of the guardians may be a good parent and the children would do well with either of them, but the parents are unable to cooperate on parenting decisions. A helpful 2004 decision of the Provincial Court, ''[http://canlii.ca/t/1jptk J.R. v. S.H.C.]'', 2004 BCPC 0421 discusses the concept of parallel parenting at length:
''Parallel parenting'' is a way of distributing parental responsibilities between guardians that is best suited for situations where each of the guardians may be a good parent and the children would do well with either of them, but the parents are unable to cooperate on parenting decisions. A helpful 2004 decision of the Provincial Court, ''[http://canlii.ca/t/1jptk J.R. v. S.H.C.]'', 2004 BCPC 0421 discusses the concept of parallel parenting at length:


*A guardian assumes complete responsibility for the children when they are with him or her.
*A guardian assumes complete responsibility for the children when they are with them.
*A guardian has no say over the actions of the other guardian when the children are in that guardian's care.
*A guardian has no say over the actions of the other guardian when the children are in that guardian's care.
*There is no expectation of flexibility between the guardians.
*There is no expectation of flexibility between the guardians.
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Contact can be as limited phone calls or Skype visits or as broad as overnights, weekends or holidays. A person’s contact with a child may also be supervised or monitored. Like all decisions about children, contact will only be ordered if it is in a child’s best interest to have that contact.
Contact can be as limited phone calls or Skype visits or as broad as overnights, weekends or holidays. A person’s contact with a child may also be supervised or monitored. Like all decisions about children, contact will only be ordered if it is in a child’s best interest to have that contact.


It is very important to understand that a person's contact with a child is entirely separate from his or her obligation to pay child support.
It is very important to understand that a person's contact with a child is entirely separate from their obligation to pay child support.


==Reports and assessments==
==Reports and assessments==
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===Financial support===
===Financial support===


When a non-parent obtains custody of a child or an order that the child live mostly with him or her, that person can apply for child support to be paid by the parents or guardians of the child. The same rules will apply to a non-parent's application for child support as apply to a guardian's application, except that grandparents and other non-parents can only apply for child support under the ''[[Family Law Act]]''; they cannot apply under the ''[[Divorce Act]]''. See section 147 and 149 of the ''[[Family Law Act]]''.  
When a non-parent obtains custody of a child or an order that the child live mostly with them, that person can apply for child support to be paid by the parents or guardians of the child. The same rules will apply to a non-parent's application for child support as apply to a guardian's application, except that grandparents and other non-parents can only apply for child support under the ''[[Family Law Act]]''; they cannot apply under the ''[[Divorce Act]]''. See section 147 and 149 of the ''[[Family Law Act]]''.  


Grandparents are also entitled to ask for financial support from the provincial government to help meet the cost of caring for any grandchildren in their care. The province of British Columbia pays grandparents who are looking after their grandchildren at the same rate as foster parents. It's not a princely sum, but it's better than a kick in the teeth.
Grandparents are also entitled to ask for financial support from the provincial government to help meet the cost of caring for any grandchildren in their care. The province of British Columbia pays grandparents who are looking after their grandchildren at the same rate as foster parents. It's not a princely sum, but it's better than a kick in the teeth.
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