Difference between revisions of "Separating and Getting Divorced"
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==A few surprisingly common misunderstandings== | ==A few surprisingly common misunderstandings== | ||
A lot of people seem to labour under certain misconceptions about what marriage, separation and divorce actually involve. Part of these misunderstandings, I'm sure, come from television and movies; others are urban myths that get spread over a few pints at the pub. | A lot of people seem to labour under certain misconceptions about what marriage, separation, and divorce actually involve. Part of these misunderstandings, I'm sure, come from television and movies; others are urban myths that get spread over a few pints at the pub. | ||
===Separation and the "legal separation"=== | ===Separation and the "legal separation"=== | ||
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*you do not need to "file for separation" to be separated (in fact, there's no such thing in British Columbia as "filing for separation," despite what you might see on the websites of the people who sell do-it-yourself legal kits), | *you do not need to "file for separation" to be separated (in fact, there's no such thing in British Columbia as "filing for separation," despite what you might see on the websites of the people who sell do-it-yourself legal kits), | ||
*there are no court documents or other papers you have to sign to be separated, and | *there are no court documents or other papers you have to sign to be separated, and | ||
*you don't need to appear before a judge, lawyer, shaman or anyone else to be separated. | *you don't need to appear before a judge, lawyer, shaman, or anyone else to be separated. | ||
To be separated, you just need to decide that your relationship is over, say so, and then live your life like you are separated. | To be separated, you just need to decide that your relationship is over, say so, and then live your life like you are separated. | ||
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====Divorce for want of sex==== | ====Divorce for want of sex==== | ||
It is also not true that a lack of sex in your relationship automatically ends your marriage, allows the marriage to be declared void, or is otherwise a ground of divorce. Sex has very little to do with divorce, just as it often has little to do with marriage. A lack of sex may spell the end of a relationship and spur a couple's separation, but at law whether you and your spouse are having sex or not is irrelevant. | It is also not true that a lack of sex in your relationship automatically ends your marriage, allows the marriage to be declared void, or is otherwise a ground of divorce. Sex has very little to do with divorce, just as it often has little to do with marriage. A lack of sex may spell the end of a relationship and spur a couple's separation, but at law, whether you and your spouse are having sex or not is irrelevant. | ||
The one exception to this last rule has to do with the ''consummation'' of the marriage, and this exception doesn't mean what most people think it means. A marriage does not need to be consummated to be a valid, binding marriage. In order to escape a marriage on this ground, you or your partner must, I kid you not, have an "invincible repugnance" to the <span class="noglossary">act</span> of sexual intercourse or some physical condition that makes sex impossible. | The one exception to this last rule has to do with the ''consummation'' of the marriage, and this exception doesn't mean what most people think it means. A marriage does not need to be consummated to be a valid, binding marriage. In order to escape a marriage on this ground, you or your partner must, I kid you not, have an "invincible repugnance" to the <span class="noglossary">act</span> of sexual intercourse or some physical condition that makes sex impossible. | ||