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===Parenting schedules===
===Parenting schedules===


While, as a basic rule of thumb, equal or near-equal shared time is generally considered the best parenting arrangement possible, it isn't appropriate for all children or for all parents. Two things must be considered when you are developing a parenting schedule: the child's age, and each parent's parenting skills. First, very young children, especially breastfeeding children, require more constant attention and are not able to be away from one parent for long periods of time. This will change, of course, as they grow older. Second, not all parents have the time to devote to an equal parenting arrangement, and not all parents have the skills and resources to offer the children.
While there is an assumption that  equal or near-equal shared time is generally considered the best parenting arrangement possible, that is not true for all children or all families. Some things to be considered when you are developing a parenting schedule are: the child's age, relationships, and each parent's parenting skills and abilities.  


====Unequal time====
Very young children, especially breastfeeding children, require more constant attention and are not able to be away from one parent (generally the breastfeeding mother) for long periods of time. In situations like this, there may be very frequent but shorter periods of parenting time for the non-breastfeeding parent. This will change, of course, as the child grows older.
 
Not all parents have the time to devote to an equal parenting arrangement, and not all parents have the skills and resources to offer the children.
 
====Different Parenting Schedules====


The Langley Family Justice Center published an excellent pamphlet called "Suggested Visitation/Time-Sharing Skills" which they gave to their clients, drawn from Gary Neuman's book, ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/helping-your-kids-cope-with-divorce-the-sandcastles-way/oclc/42193621 Helping your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way]''. The following is adapted from this pamphlet, and is intended for parents who do not intend to establish an equal time-sharing arrangement.
The Langley Family Justice Center published an excellent pamphlet called "Suggested Visitation/Time-Sharing Skills" which they gave to their clients, drawn from Gary Neuman's book, ''[http://www.worldcat.org/title/helping-your-kids-cope-with-divorce-the-sandcastles-way/oclc/42193621 Helping your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way]''. The following is adapted from this pamphlet, and is intended for parents who do not intend to establish an equal time-sharing arrangement.
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In an equal parenting schedule, the time that a very, very young child, less than 18 months of age, requires to integrate fully with the other parent can be compressed.
In an equal parenting schedule, the time that a very, very young child, less than 18 months of age, requires to integrate fully with the other parent can be compressed.


Most children are able to start spending an equal amount of time with each parent by the time they enter kindergarten, although the weeks should be divided so that the change in home is more frequent.
Most children may be able to start spending an equal amount of time with each parent by the time they enter kindergarten, although the weeks should be divided so that the change in home is more frequent.


By grade two, many children may be able to do a whole week with one parent, followed by a whole week with the other parent. Most parents exchange the child on Fridays after school to minimize disruption to the child's schoolwork, although exchanging on Tuesday prevents any arguments about who was responsible for ensuring that weekend homework got done.
By grade two or three, many children may be able to do a whole week with one parent, followed by a whole week with the other parent. Most parents exchange the child on Fridays after school to minimize disruption to the child's schoolwork, although exchanging on Tuesday prevents any arguments about who was responsible for ensuring that weekend homework got done.


By the time the child is in his or her early teens, the week-on/week-off arrangement may be extended to two weeks with each parent. This will change as the teenager gets older, and his or her preferences should be taken into <span class="noglossary">account</span>. Some parents even wind up working on a month-on/month-off arrangement with older teens; again, though, this will depend on the child and the parents.
By the time the child is in his or her early teens, the week-on/week-off arrangement may be extended to two weeks with each parent. This will change as the teenager gets older, and his or her preferences should be taken into <span class="noglossary">account</span>. Some parents even wind up working on a month-on/month-off arrangement with older teens; again, though, this will depend on the child and the parents.
There are some parents who achieve nearly equal parenting by the unequal sharing of holidays.


===Parenting plans===
===Parenting plans===
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Parenting plans also typically address guardianship issues and cover how the parents will make decisions about the children's care, medical needs, and schooling. Since parenting plans aren't mentioned in the ''[[Divorce Act]]'' or the ''[[Family Law Act]]'', there are no rules about what should and shouldn't be in a parenting plan. It's up to the parents to be as inclusive and creative as they want.
Parenting plans also typically address guardianship issues and cover how the parents will make decisions about the children's care, medical needs, and schooling. Since parenting plans aren't mentioned in the ''[[Divorce Act]]'' or the ''[[Family Law Act]]'', there are no rules about what should and shouldn't be in a parenting plan. It's up to the parents to be as inclusive and creative as they want.


Parenting plans can be included in separation agreements or, but not usually, in court orders. (The best you're likely to get in a court order is a statement about guardianship rights and parenting time for the present, with a provision requiring a <span class="noglossary">review</span> of those arrangements in a fixed amount of time.) However, at times the court can and will make very specific orders about parenting.
Parenting plans can be included in separation agreements, but not always, in court orders. Usually, court orders contain a general statement about general statement about guardianship and parenting time. However, at times, especially when parents to not agree, the court can and will make very specific orders about the parenting arrangements, such as who is responsible for taking the children to the dentist and the sharing of birthdays, to name a few. Detailed orders are usually crafted to a particular family in an attempt by the court to cover as much of a child's day-to-day life as possible in the hopes of minimizing conflict between the parents.


Parenting plans can also stand on their own as a separate document.
Parenting plans can also stand on their own as a separate document.
What is crucial in developing a parenting plan is to have a plan that accommodates and meets the children's needs and is not simply in place for the ease or convenience of parents. The same parenting plan may not work for all children in a family, and the goal of all parents should be to support the healthy developments of children as individuals and not simply as a sibling group.


===Sample parenting plans===
===Sample parenting plans===
Sam Rapoport
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