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Difference between revisions of "Polyamorous Relationships"
From Clicklaw Wikibooks
→Family law agreements
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In my experience, polyamorous relationships rarely "just happen." They tend to be the product of a huge amount of discussion and negotiation — about easy financial and mathematical issues as well as super hard emotional and psychological issues — long before more than two people start seeing each other, never mind start living together. Since people are already spending so much time planning what their relationship will look like, it's easy to turn some of that effort into preparing a cohabitation agreement. | In my experience, polyamorous relationships rarely "just happen." They tend to be the product of a huge amount of discussion and negotiation — about easy financial and mathematical issues as well as super hard emotional and psychological issues — long before more than two people start seeing each other, never mind start living together. Since people are already spending so much time planning what their relationship will look like, it's easy to turn some of that effort into preparing a cohabitation agreement. | ||
===Subject matter=== | ===Subject matter of cohabitation agreements=== | ||
For people in pair relationships, cohabitation agreements usually talk about ''spousal support'' and the ''division of property and debt'' in the event their relationship ends. They don't talk about ''parenting children'' or ''child support'' because it's impossible to make decisions about these issues so far in advance. They sometimes talk about how the relationship itself will be managed, but agreements like this are the exception rather than the rule. The social expectations we have about pair relationships work cover the management of most people's relationships really well. | For people in pair relationships, cohabitation agreements usually talk about ''spousal support'' and the ''division of property and debt'' in the event their relationship ends. They don't talk about ''parenting children'' or ''child support'' because it's impossible to make decisions about these issues so far in advance. They sometimes talk about how the relationship itself will be managed, but agreements like this are the exception rather than the rule. The social expectations we have about pair relationships work cover the management of most people's relationships really well. | ||
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*Can someone be asked to leave the relationship? How? What sort of notice should they be entitled to? What can they take with them when they leave? | *Can someone be asked to leave the relationship? How? What sort of notice should they be entitled to? What can they take with them when they leave? | ||
*Under what terms can someone decide to leave the relationship? What sort of notice should they have to give? What can they take with them? | *Under what terms can someone decide to leave the relationship? What sort of notice should they have to give? What can they take with them? | ||
*What will happen if someone gets sick? Who should be able to make medical decisions if they can't make them for themselves? What will happen if people can't agree on those medical decisions? | |||
*What will happen if someone dies? What will happen to their financial obligations, the property they own and any interests in common property that everyone owns? | |||
What's really important here is to anticipate every kind of problem that might arise during a relationship, talk about those problems ahead of time, and try to make an agreement about those problems will be handled before moving in together. | What's really important here is to anticipate every kind of problem that might arise during a relationship, talk about those problems ahead of time, and try to make an agreement about those problems will be handled before moving in together. | ||
