Difference between revisions of "Behaviour, Boundaries and Privacy after Separation"
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Behaviour, Boundaries and Privacy after Separation (view source)
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==Introduction== | ==Introduction== | ||
We have all sorts of social scripts about how people meet, fall in love, marry and start having children. You can't watch a Hugh Grant rom-com, walk past the supermarket greeting card aisle, or read one of the very fine novels published by Harlequin Enterprises ULC without have those scripts reinforced. What we don't have are scripts about how people separate. Yes, Hollywood has dabbled its toes in this plotline — ''Marriage Story'' and ''War of the Roses'' spring to mind — but these are fairly awful stories. What we don't have scripts about how people separate ''well''. | We have all sorts of social scripts about how people meet, fall in love, marry and start having children. You can't watch a Hugh Grant rom-com, walk past the supermarket greeting card aisle, or read one of the very fine novels published by Harlequin Enterprises ULC without have those scripts reinforced. What we don't have are scripts about how people separate. Yes, Hollywood has dabbled its toes in this plotline — ''Marriage Story'' and ''War of the Roses'' spring to mind — but these are fairly awful stories. What we don't have scripts about are how people separate ''well''. | ||
In 1967, two psychologists, Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe, published [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0022399967900104?via%3Dihub a study] showing that the end of a long-term relationship is one of the most traumatic events people will endure, second only to the death of a spouse or a child. That seems about right to me. This trauma leads people to do and say things that they'd never do under other circumstances. I've seen people behave far more cruelly toward family members in family law and wills and estates cases than they would ever behave to anyone else, including an enemy. | In 1967, two psychologists, Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe, published [https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0022399967900104?via%3Dihub a study] showing that the end of a long-term relationship is one of the most traumatic events people will endure, second only to the death of a spouse or a child. That seems about right to me. This trauma leads people to do and say things that they'd never do under other circumstances. I've seen people behave far more cruelly toward family members in family law and wills and estates cases than they would ever behave to anyone else, including an enemy. | ||
