Children Who Resist Seeing a Parent: Difference between revisions
From Clicklaw Wikibooks
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→Knowing when there's a problem
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*expressing ambivalence about visiting the parent (not caring one way or the other about seeing the parent), | *expressing ambivalence about visiting the parent (not caring one way or the other about seeing the parent), | ||
*grumbling about having to go to see the other parent, and | *grumbling about having to go to see the other parent, and | ||
*stating a preference for an activity (playing a game, seeing friends and so forth) over seeing the other parent. | *stating a preference for an activity (playing a game, seeing friends, and so forth) over seeing the other parent. | ||
More serious expressions of a change in the child's attachment to a parent include: | More serious expressions of a change in the child's attachment to a parent include: | ||
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* expressing a preference for one home over the other, | * expressing a preference for one home over the other, | ||
* expressing a worry about missing the parent the child is leaving, | * expressing a worry about missing the parent the child is leaving, | ||
* being upset that an activity (playing a game, an outing, seeing friends and so forth) will be interrupted by the visit, | * being upset that an activity (playing a game, an outing, seeing friends, and so forth) will be interrupted by the visit, | ||
* stating that visits with other parent are boring, and/or | * stating that visits with other parent are boring, and/or | ||
* being reluctant to speak to the other parent on the telephone. | * being reluctant to speak to the other parent on the telephone. | ||
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* crying before the visit (younger children), | * crying before the visit (younger children), | ||
* complaining that it's not fair to have to visit (older children), | * complaining that it's not fair to have to visit (older children), | ||
* offering promises (studying harder, doing more chores and so forth) in exchange for not having to go on the visit, | * offering promises (studying harder, doing more chores, and so forth) in exchange for not having to go on the visit, | ||
* claiming that the other parent doesn't parent properly (bad food, unfair discipline, unwanted outings and so forth), and/or | * claiming that the other parent doesn't parent properly (bad food, unfair discipline, unwanted outings, and so forth), and/or | ||
* refusing to talk to the other parent when they telephone. | * refusing to talk to the other parent when they telephone. | ||
The most serious expressions of a change in the child's attachment to a parent include: | The most serious expressions of a change in the child's attachment to a parent include: | ||
* | * throwing temper tantrums before leaving for the visit (younger children), | ||
* becoming enraged about being forced to go to the other parent (older children), | * becoming enraged about being forced to go to the other parent (older children), | ||
* stating that they hate the other parent, | * stating that they hate the other parent, | ||
* threats about running away or involving the police (older children), | * threats about running away or involving the police (older children), | ||
* pleading to do anything except go on the visit, | * pleading to do anything except go on the visit, | ||
* making bizarre and unlikely claims about the other parent's conduct (abuse, neglect and so forth), and/or | * making bizarre and unlikely claims about the other parent's conduct (abuse, neglect, and so forth), and/or | ||
* constantly making insulting comments about the other parent or putting the other parent down ("he's such a jerk," "she can't do anything right," and so forth). | * constantly making insulting comments about the other parent or putting the other parent down ("he's such a jerk," "she can't do anything right," and so forth). | ||
