Separating and Getting Divorced: Difference between revisions
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→A Few Surprisingly Common Misunderstandings
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==A Few Surprisingly Common Misunderstandings== | ==A Few Surprisingly Common Misunderstandings== | ||
A lot of people seem to labour under certain misconceptions about what marriage, separation and divorce actually involve. Part of these misunderstandings, I'm sure, come from television and movies, others are urban myths that get spread | A lot of people seem to labour under certain misconceptions about what marriage, separation and divorce actually involve. Part of these misunderstandings, I'm sure, come from television and movies, others are urban myths that get spread over a few pints at the pub. | ||
===Separation and the "Legal Separation"=== | ===Separation and the "Legal Separation"=== | ||
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To be separated, you just need to decide that your relationship is over and say so. | To be separated, you just need to decide that your relationship is over and say so. | ||
====Separation and Remarriage==== | |||
The fact that a married couple are separated isn't enough to let either of the spouses remarry, however. You must be formally divorced by an order of the court in order to remarry. If you do remarry without being divorced from the first marriage, the new marriage will be invalid. | The fact that a married couple are separated isn't enough to let either of the spouses remarry, however. You must be formally divorced by an order of the court in order to remarry. If you do remarry without being divorced from the first marriage, the new marriage will be invalid. | ||
====Separation and New Spousal Relationships==== | |||
On the other hand, the fact that a married couple has separated won't stop a spouse from having a new relationship, including a new relationship which would qualify as an unmarried spousal relationship. Technically, this is adultery, but no one except the Pope or your in-laws are likely to care. | On the other hand, the fact that a married couple has separated won't stop a spouse from having a new relationship, including a new relationship which would qualify as an unmarried spousal relationship. Technically, this is adultery, but no one except the Pope or your in-laws are likely to care. | ||
===Divorce and | ===Divorce and the "Automatic Divorce"=== | ||
As far as divorce is concerned, a court must make an order for your divorce or you'll never be divorced. You can have been separated from your spouse for twenty years, but unless a court has actually made an order for your divorce, you'll still be married. It'd be nice (and cheaper) if the passage of time gave rise to an automatic divorce, but it doesn't work that way. | As far as divorce is concerned, a court must make an order for your divorce or you'll never be divorced. You can have been separated from your spouse for twenty years, but unless a court has actually made an order for your divorce, you'll still be married. It'd be nice (and cheaper) if the passage of time gave rise to an automatic divorce, but it doesn't work that way. | ||
====Divorce and Separation Agreements==== | |||
It is not true that you need to have a separation agreement to get a divorce. Separation agreements are helpful to record a settlement of the issues arising when a couple separates, like the division of assets or the payment of support and so forth, but they're not a requirement of the divorce process. You especially don't need a separation agreement if the only issue is whether you'll get a divorce order or not. | It is not true that you need to have a separation agreement to get a divorce. Separation agreements are helpful to record a settlement of the issues arising when a couple separates, like the division of assets or the payment of support and so forth, but they're not a requirement of the divorce process. You especially don't need a separation agreement if the only issue is whether you'll get a divorce order or not. | ||
====Divorce after Death==== | |||
It is not true that you remain married if your spouse dies. Once that happens, your marriage is at an end. You do not need to obtain a divorce. | It is not true that you remain married if your spouse dies. Once that happens, your marriage is at an end. You do not need to obtain a divorce. | ||
====Divorce and a Lack of Sex==== | |||
It is also not true that a lack of sex in your relationship automatically ends your marriage, allows the marriage to be declared void, or is otherwise a ground of divorce. Sex has very little to do with divorce, just as it often has little to do with marriage. A lack of sex may spell the end of a relationship and spur a couple's separation, but at law whether you and your spouse are having sex or not is irrelevant. | It is also not true that a lack of sex in your relationship automatically ends your marriage, allows the marriage to be declared void, or is otherwise a ground of divorce. Sex has very little to do with divorce, just as it often has little to do with marriage. A lack of sex may spell the end of a relationship and spur a couple's separation, but at law whether you and your spouse are having sex or not is irrelevant. | ||
The one exception to this last rule has to do with the | The one exception to this last rule has to do with the ''consummation'' of the marriage, and this exception doesn't mean what most people think it means. A marriage does not need to be consummated to be a valid, binding marriage. In order to escape a marriage on this ground, you or your partner must, I kid you not, have an "invincible repugnance" to the act of sexual intercourse or some physical condition which makes sex impossible. | ||
==Further Reading in this Chapter== | ==Further Reading in this Chapter== | ||