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Difference between revisions of "How Do I Start Mediation with My Spouse?"
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How Do I Start Mediation with My Spouse? (view source)
Revision as of 21:39, 25 August 2017
, 21:39, 25 August 2017no edit summary
Desy Wahyuni (talk | contribs) m |
Nate Russell (talk | contribs) |
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==Pick the right moment== | ==Pick the right moment== | ||
With one exception, you can't force your ex to go to mediation with you, you can only do it with | With one exception, you can't force your ex to go to mediation with you, you can only do it with their agreement. Your ex isn't likely to agree to go and see a mediator if they are still pissed off about a recent argument or still resentful about the end of the relationship. | ||
When you've got the right moment, suggesting mediation can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting | When you've got the right moment, suggesting mediation can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting them out for a cup of coffee at the local Tim Hortons: | ||
<blockquote>"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still a bit upset about everything, but we really need to make a few decisions and I don't think we're going to be able to do this on our own. I've asked my friend Sally what happened with her and Frank, and she said that they used a mediator."</blockquote> | <blockquote>"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still a bit upset about everything, but we really need to make a few decisions and I don't think we're going to be able to do this on our own. I've asked my friend Sally what happened with her and Frank, and she said that they used a mediator."</blockquote> | ||
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Going to trial <span class="noglossary">will</span> cost a minimum of $15,000 in lawyer's fees for a two- or three-day trial. Most family law trials are one or two weeks long, and this figure ignores the <span class="noglossary">costs</span> of all the other things that have to happen before you walk into the courtroom on day one! | Going to trial <span class="noglossary">will</span> cost a minimum of $15,000 in lawyer's fees for a two- or three-day trial. Most family law trials are one or two weeks long, and this figure ignores the <span class="noglossary">costs</span> of all the other things that have to happen before you walk into the courtroom on day one! | ||
If this doesn't get your ex to agree to see a mediator, tell | If this doesn't get your ex to agree to see a mediator, tell them to ask separated friends, family members and co-workers how much it cost for their court proceedings and how long it took to go from start to finish. | ||
The exception I mentioned above is that if you and your partner have already started an Action in Supreme Court, you may file a Notice to Mediate under the ''[http://canlii.ca/t/85bd Notice to Mediate (Family) Regulation]''. This rule provides a mechanism for forcing parties to try mediation before they can have a trial. | The exception I mentioned above is that if you and your partner have already started an Action in Supreme Court, you may file a Notice to Mediate under the ''[http://canlii.ca/t/85bd Notice to Mediate (Family) Regulation]''. This rule provides a mechanism for forcing parties to try mediation before they can have a trial. | ||
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Now that your ex has agreed to see a mediator with you, strike while the iron is hot: find a mediator and book an appointment immediately. | Now that your ex has agreed to see a mediator with you, strike while the iron is hot: find a mediator and book an appointment immediately. | ||
Before hiring a mediator, make sure you've looked into | Before hiring a mediator, make sure you've looked into their background to make sure that the mediator has had special training as a mediator. Lawyers who have training and are accredited to mediate by the Law Society are called family law mediators, and they <span class="noglossary">will</span> usually advertise themselves as such. | ||
When picking a mediator, first ask around. Have any of your friends used a mediator, and what did they think of the mediator? If that doesn't work, call a family law lawyer. Most family law lawyers keep a short list of the mediators they prefer to use, and <span class="noglossary">will</span> be happy to give you their names and phone numbers. | When picking a mediator, first ask around. Have any of your friends used a mediator, and what did they think of the mediator? If that doesn't work, call a family law lawyer. Most family law lawyers keep a short list of the mediators they prefer to use, and <span class="noglossary">will</span> be happy to give you their names and phone numbers. | ||