Children Who Resist Seeing a Parent: Difference between revisions
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I am not a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a counsellor. As a result this section should be read with a grain of salt, as it's based on my observations of my clients' experiences, a bit of research, and some common sense. For the same reason, be cautioned that this section should not be used as an authority for the propositions it sets out. | I am not a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a counsellor. As a result this section should be read with a grain of salt, as it's based on my observations of my clients' experiences, a bit of research, and some common sense. For the same reason, be cautioned that this section should not be used as an authority for the propositions it sets out. | ||
I also wish to acknowledge that much of this section was drawn from two sources in particular: Dr. Deirdre Rand's 1997 article, "[ | I also wish to acknowledge that much of this section was drawn from two sources in particular: Dr. Deirdre Rand's 1997 article, "[https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-41332-003 The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome (Part II)]" in the American Journal of Forensic Psychology; and, a 2001 article by Drs. Joan Kelly and Janet Johnston, "[https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-11679-001 The Alienated Child: A Reformulation of Parental Alienation Syndrome,]" published in ''Family Court Review''. Both articles are excellent and should be read if you believe that estrangement or alienation is an issue in your family. | ||
==Parental alienation== | ==Parental alienation== | ||
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===Gardner's Parental Alienation Syndrome=== | ===Gardner's Parental Alienation Syndrome=== | ||
In 1997, Dr. Deirdre Rand published an article called "[ | In 1997, Dr. Deirdre Rand published an article called "[https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-41332-003 The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome (Part II)]" in the ''American Journal of Forensic Psychology'', summarizing and updating Gardner's theory. In that article, Rand describes Parental Alienation Syndrome as the child's formation of an "alignment" with one parent against the other. Think of ''alignment'' as meaning an alliance, or a sense of allegiance, in which a child comes to share the views and emotions of one parent over those of the other parent. | ||
A study by Johnston and Dr. Linda Campbell in 1988 found a measurable degree of alignment between children and one parent in 35 to 40 percent of the high-conflict cases they studied. In a 1993 article entitled "Children of Divorce who Refuse Visitation," Johnston reported finding strong alignments in 28 to 43 percent of 9- to 12-year-olds in high-conflict cases, with another 29 percent showing symptoms of a mild alignment. | A study by Johnston and Dr. Linda Campbell in 1988 found a measurable degree of alignment between children and one parent in 35 to 40 percent of the high-conflict cases they studied. In a 1993 article entitled "Children of Divorce who Refuse Visitation," Johnston reported finding strong alignments in 28 to 43 percent of 9- to 12-year-olds in high-conflict cases, with another 29 percent showing symptoms of a mild alignment. | ||
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*stating or implying that the child is being abused or maltreated by the other parent. | *stating or implying that the child is being abused or maltreated by the other parent. | ||
The consequences of alienation or attempted alienation can be quite profound. Alienation at its best is a form of psychological programming; at worst, it's brainwashing. Alienation may result in the permanent destruction of a child's relationship with the rejected parent and in long-lasting psychological problems for the alienated child. In Dr. Glenn Cartwright's article "[ | The consequences of alienation or attempted alienation can be quite profound. Alienation at its best is a form of psychological programming; at worst, it's brainwashing. Alienation may result in the permanent destruction of a child's relationship with the rejected parent and in long-lasting psychological problems for the alienated child. In Dr. Glenn Cartwright's article "[https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1994-13185-001 Expanding the Parameters of Parental Alienation Syndrome]," published in the ''American Journal of Family Therapy'' in 1993, a number of long-term psychological problems were found in children who had been the victims of alienation, including: | ||
*depression, anxiety and stress, | *depression, anxiety and stress, | ||
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*Lampel, A. K. (1996). [https://bit.ly/3yRhQja Children’s alignment with parents in highly conflicted custody cases.] ''Family Court Review'', 34(2), 229-239. | *Lampel, A. K. (1996). [https://bit.ly/3yRhQja Children’s alignment with parents in highly conflicted custody cases.] ''Family Court Review'', 34(2), 229-239. | ||
*Lee, S. M., & Olesen, N. W. (2001). [https://bit.ly/3X1iiDo Assessing for alienation in child custody and access evaluations.] ''Family Court Review'', 39(3), 282-298. | *Lee, S. M., & Olesen, N. W. (2001). [https://bit.ly/3X1iiDo Assessing for alienation in child custody and access evaluations.] ''Family Court Review'', 39(3), 282-298. | ||
*Rand, D.C. (1997). [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-06755-002 The spectrum of parent alienation: Part | *Rand, D.C. (1997). [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-06755-002 The spectrum of parent alienation: Part I.] ''American Journal of Forensic Psychology'', 15(3), 23-52. | ||
*Rand, D.C. (1997) [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-41332-003 The spectrum of parent alienation: Part | *Rand, D.C. (1997) [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-41332-003 The spectrum of parent alienation: Part II.] ''American Journal of Forensic Psychology'', 15(4), 39-92. | ||
*Sullivan, M. J., & Kelly, J. B. (2001). [https://bit.ly/3YYftWG Legal and psychological management of cases with an alienated child.] ''Family Court Review'', 39(3), 299-315. | *Sullivan, M. J., & Kelly, J. B. (2001). [https://bit.ly/3YYftWG Legal and psychological management of cases with an alienated child.] ''Family Court Review'', 39(3), 299-315. | ||
*Turkat, I. D. (1994). [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-19653-001 Child visitation interference in divorce.] ''Clinical Psychology Review'', 14(8), 737-742. | *Turkat, I. D. (1994). [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-19653-001 Child visitation interference in divorce.] ''Clinical Psychology Review'', 14(8), 737-742. | ||
*Waldron, K. H., & Joanis, D. E. (1996). [ | *Waldron, K. H., & Joanis, D. E. (1996). [https://bit.ly/4dAfTGS Understanding and collaboratively treating parental alienation syndrome.] ''American Journal of Family Law'', 10, 121-134. | ||
*Wallerstein, J. S., & Kelly, J. B. (1976). [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1266949/ The effects of parental divorce: Experiences of the child in later latency.] ''American Journal of Orthopsychiatry'', 46(2), 256-269. | *Wallerstein, J. S., & Kelly, J. B. (1976). [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1266949/ The effects of parental divorce: Experiences of the child in later latency.] ''American Journal of Orthopsychiatry'', 46(2), 256-269. | ||
*Wallerstein, J. S., & Kelly, J. B. (1980). ''[https://search.worldcat.org/title/6041040 Surviving the breakup: How children and parents cope with divorce]''. New York: Basic Books. | *Wallerstein, J. S., & Kelly, J. B. (1980). ''[https://search.worldcat.org/title/6041040 Surviving the breakup: How children and parents cope with divorce]''. New York: Basic Books. | ||
*Warshak, R. A. (2003). [https://www.jstor.org/stable/25740420 Bringing sense to parental alienation: A look at the disputes and the evidence.] ''Family Law Quarterly'', 37(2) 273-301. | *Warshak, R. A. (2003). [https://www.jstor.org/stable/25740420 Bringing sense to parental alienation: A look at the disputes and the evidence.] ''Family Law Quarterly'', 37(2) 273-301. | ||
*Warshak, R. A. (2003). [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2003-09485-007 Payoffs and pitfalls of listening to children.] ''Family Relations'', 52(4), 373-384. | *Warshak, R. A. (2003). [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2003-09485-007 Payoffs and pitfalls of listening to children.] ''Family Relations'', 52(4), 373-384. | ||
*Wood, C. L. (1994). ''[ | *Wood, C. L. (1994). ''[https://digitalcommons.lmu.edu/llr/vol27/iss4/5/ The parental alienation syndrome: A dangerous aura of reliability]'', Loyola of Los Angeles Law Review, 27, 1367-1415. | ||
===Online information=== | ===Online information=== | ||
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The web is full of resources about alienation, estrangement and children who resist seeing a parent after separation. Much of the information available online is, however, of limited usefulness. Look about the internet and educate yourself about children who are reluctant to spend time with a parent, but be cautious about the sources of what you're reading. Stick to information published by academics, lawyers, psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical counsellors and researchers, and avoid anonymous websites, websites sponsored by special interest groups that are likely to be biased, sensationalist websites, and websites that don't give a source for their data or their conclusions. The most reliable sort of online information is that which is published in a professional journal, as journal articles are usually peer-reviewed and normally of a very high quality. | The web is full of resources about alienation, estrangement and children who resist seeing a parent after separation. Much of the information available online is, however, of limited usefulness. Look about the internet and educate yourself about children who are reluctant to spend time with a parent, but be cautious about the sources of what you're reading. Stick to information published by academics, lawyers, psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical counsellors and researchers, and avoid anonymous websites, websites sponsored by special interest groups that are likely to be biased, sensationalist websites, and websites that don't give a source for their data or their conclusions. The most reliable sort of online information is that which is published in a professional journal, as journal articles are usually peer-reviewed and normally of a very high quality. | ||
A good starting point for online research is the website of the [ | A good starting point for online research is the website of the [http://www.spig.clara.net/ Shared Parenting Information Group], a UK organization, which has a good discussion of the subject and plenty of useful links. | ||
A final note of caution. Many of the groups you'll find online that offer information on Parental Alienation Syndrome, such as Fathers Are Capable Too, seem to regard the problem of children who resist seeing a parent after separation as a men's rights or fathers' rights issue. However, some of these sites go too far and identify feminism and mothers, or rather their prejudice against feminism and mothers, with the small number of women who engage in alienating behaviours. Fathers also engage in alienating behaviour. Take care in choosing your sources of information and make sure you're reading between the lines. | A final note of caution. Many of the groups you'll find online that offer information on Parental Alienation Syndrome, such as Fathers Are Capable Too, seem to regard the problem of children who resist seeing a parent after separation as a men's rights or fathers' rights issue. However, some of these sites go too far and identify feminism and mothers, or rather their prejudice against feminism and mothers, with the small number of women who engage in alienating behaviours. Fathers also engage in alienating behaviour. Take care in choosing your sources of information and make sure you're reading between the lines. | ||
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===Links=== | ===Links=== | ||
* | * [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-41332-003 The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome (Part II)], by Dr. Deirdre Rand, American Journal of Forensic Psychology. | ||
* | * [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-11679-001 The Alienated Child: A Reformulation of Parental Alienation Syndrome], by Drs. Joan Kelly and Janet Johnston, Family Court Review. | ||
* [ | * [https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1994-13185-001 Expanding the Parameters of Parental Alienation Syndrome], by Dr. Glenn Cartwright, American Journal of Family Therapy. | ||
* [http://www.spig.clara.net/ Shared Parenting Information Group] | * [http://www.canadiancrc.com/Parental_Alienation_Syndrome_Canada/lampel96.pdf Children's Alignment with Parents in Highly Conflicted Custody Cases], by Dr. Anita Lampel, Family and Conciliation Courts Review. | ||
* [https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/toc/17441617/2010/48/1 January 2010 edition of Family Court Review], published by the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. | |||
* [https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/toc/17441617/2020/58/2 April 2020 edition of Family Court Review], published by the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. | |||
* [https://academic.oup.com/book/11622 Children Who Resist Postseparation Parental Contact], by Bala, Fidler, and Saini, Oxford University Press. | |||
* [https://perma.cc/F2Q6-MYVY Joint statement], published by the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts and the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges. | |||
* [https://academic.oup.com/book/1189 Overcoming Parent-child Contact Problems], published by Oxford University Press. | |||
* [http://www.spig.clara.net/ Shared Parenting Information Group], a UK organization. | |||