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Difference between revisions of "Separating Emotionally"
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<blockquote>"When the blending does not occur, people get stuck in one emotional cycle or another. Someone who gets stuck on love may deny the reality of the breakup and pine for reconciliation; someone caught up in anger will act out of vindictiveness and a need for revenge; those mired in sadness will assume an exaggerated and unrealistic sense of responsibility for what has occurred."</blockquote> | <blockquote>"When the blending does not occur, people get stuck in one emotional cycle or another. Someone who gets stuck on love may deny the reality of the breakup and pine for reconciliation; someone caught up in anger will act out of vindictiveness and a need for revenge; those mired in sadness will assume an exaggerated and unrealistic sense of responsibility for what has occurred."</blockquote> | ||
For most people, the difficult thing is that knowing about the stages of divorce and the grief cycle does precious little to actually solve the problem. You can intellectually know what's going on, but knowing what's going doesn't mean that the emotions go away; there is no magic light switch that you can flip to turn your emotions off. Knowing about the emotional roller coaster can, however, keep you aware | For most people, the difficult thing is that knowing about the stages of divorce and the grief cycle does precious little to actually solve the problem. You can intellectually know what's going on, but knowing what's going on doesn't mean that the emotions go away; there is no magic light switch that you can flip to turn your emotions off. Knowing about the emotional roller coaster can, however, keep you aware of what is motivating your reactions to your former partner and help you contain your emotions while you are negotiating the fallout from the end of your relationship. | ||
It is important to remember that you and your former partner are probably not going to be at the same stage of the grieving process. One person can come to the conclusion the relationship is over long before separation and reach acceptance, while the other person is still in shock and denial that the relationship has ended. This is another factor that will aggravate feelings between you and your former partner. | It is important to remember that you and your former partner are probably not going to be at the same stage of the grieving process. One person can come to the conclusion the relationship is over long before separation and reach acceptance, while the other person is still in shock and denial that the relationship has ended. This is another factor that will aggravate feelings between you and your former partner. | ||