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Difference between revisions of "Family Law Mediation"
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→Tips for successful mediation
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In mediation, as in all other forms of negotiation, the goal is to produce a fair agreement in an efficient and cooperative way. There are lots of things you can do that will hinder this process, and other things you can do that will help. The following are a few tips on how to make mediation work for you. | In mediation, as in all other forms of negotiation, the goal is to produce a fair agreement in an efficient and cooperative way. There are lots of things you can do that will hinder this process, and other things you can do that will help. The following are a few tips on how to make mediation work for you. | ||
Remember that the more you argue about a particular position of yours, the more you wind up being stuck with that position. Many people find that after they've argued a particular point to death, they're stuck with it because they can't back down without losing face. Try to focus on interests rather than on positions, and to always ask yourself "Why not?" when you hear what the other side has to say. | Remember that the more you argue about a particular position of yours, the more you wind up being stuck with that position. Many people find that after they've argued a particular point to death, they're stuck with it because they can't back down without losing face. Try to focus on interests (your underlying needs) rather than on positions (specific outcomes), and to always ask yourself "Why not?" when you hear what the other side has to say. | ||
One of the most important skills you can bring to your mediation session is the ability to actively listen to what the other side is saying. Active listening involves paying close attention to what the other side is saying, and restating their position to ensure that you know what the other side means and to ensure that the other side recognizes that you're <span class="noglossary">hearing</span> what they is saying. Phrases like "What I hear you saying is..." and "If I understand you correctly, what you're saying is..." can be extremely helpful. At the same time, you must also take some care in how you choose to express yourself. Instead of saying "You did..." or "You're a...," try something like "When you did that I felt..." or "I feel that..." This may all seem a bit flaky, but believe it or not it works. | One of the most important skills you can bring to your mediation session is the ability to actively listen to what the other side is saying. Active listening involves paying close attention to what the other side is saying, and restating their position to ensure that you know what the other side means and to ensure that the other side recognizes that you're <span class="noglossary">hearing</span> what they is saying. Phrases like "What I hear you saying is..." and "If I understand you correctly, what you're saying is..." can be extremely helpful. At the same time, you must also take some care in how you choose to express yourself. Instead of saying "You did..." or "You're a...," try something like "When you did that I felt..." or "I feel that..." This may all seem a bit flaky, but believe it or not it works. | ||