Difference between revisions of "Separating Emotionally"

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===Choosing your lawyer===
===Choosing your lawyer===


Your choice of lawyer can play a large part in determining how your separation unfolds. Many lawyers are quite open to mediation, while a few others see litigation as the only means of resolving a dispute, particularly lawyers who have a reputation as being bulldogs. Other lawyers do not take their duty to respond promptly to correspondence particularly seriously, which will delay things and may result in an unnecessarily large number of interim applications. Still other lawyers see their duty as limited to militantly carrying out their clients' instructions, without supplying a great deal of options or cautions as to the likely effect of those instructions.
Your choice of lawyer can play a large part in determining how your separation unfolds. Many lawyers are quite open to mediation and collaborative settlement processes, while a few others see litigation as the only means of resolving a dispute, particularly lawyers who have a reputation as being bulldogs. Other lawyers do not take their duty to respond promptly to correspondence particularly seriously, which will delay things and may result in an unnecessarily large number of interim applications. Still other lawyers see their duty as limited to militantly carrying out their clients' instructions, without supplying a great deal of options or cautions as to the likely effect of those instructions.


The best family law lawyers give their clients a common sense analysis of their situation, based on probable outcomes and their expert knowledge of the law, and encourage their clients to take a position which is objectively reasonable. These lawyers will usually pursue settlement, either before or after litigation has started, and see litigation as a last resort. They are open to negotiation and mediation, although they usually prefer a result-oriented mediation process rather than the lengthier traditional process that also tries to deal with emotional issues and interests.
The best family law lawyers give their clients a common-sense analysis of their situation, based on probable outcomes and their expert knowledge of the law, and encourage their clients to take positions which are objectively reasonable. These lawyers will usually pursue settlement, both before and after litigation has started, and see litigation as a last resort. They are open to negotiation and mediation and other out-of-court processes, although they may prefer a result-oriented mediation process rather than the lengthier traditional mediation process that also tries to address emotional issues.


While some people, particularly those in angry separations, feel an almost irresistible urge to go out and hire the toughest bulldog around to exact revenge against their former partner, bulldogs rarely see any resolutions other than: a settlement on exactly the extortionate terms their clients want; or, a knock-down drag-'em-out trial. These lawyers cost the most, and you can expect the litigation process to drag out for an ungodly amount of time. Even if you are in an angry separation, step back and take a breath. Remember that even though you may hate your former partner at present, you will have to live with the consequences of hasty litigation and your unreasonable positions well into the future. You might also lose your house to pay your lawyer's fees.
While some people, particularly those in angry separations, feel an almost irresistible urge to go out and hire the toughest bulldog around to exact revenge against their former partner, bulldogs rarely see any resolutions other than: a settlement on exactly the extortionate terms their clients want; or, a knock-down drag-'em-out trial. These lawyers cost the most, and you can expect the litigation process to drag out for an ungodly amount of time. Even if you are in an angry separation, step back and take a breath. Remember that even though you may hate your former partner at present, you will have to live with the consequences of hasty litigation and your unreasonable positions well into the future. You might also lose your house to pay your lawyer's fees.

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