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Difference between revisions of "How Do I Start Negotiations with My Spouse?"
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How Do I Start Negotiations with My Spouse? (view source)
Revision as of 16:18, 25 May 2019
, 16:18, 25 May 2019→Using lawyers
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If you find that you're getting stuck on one or more points, or if your ex is refusing to talk to you at all, it's probably time to hire a lawyer. | If you find that you're getting stuck on one or more points, or if your ex is refusing to talk to you at all, it's probably time to hire a lawyer. | ||
Hiring a lawyer doesn't mean that you're headed to court and eventually to trial. It means that you're serious about these issues, and you want to move things to the next level. Most lawyers <span class="noglossary">will</span> write a letter to your ex explaining that they've been hired by you to start or continue negotiations with an eye to reaching settlement. | Hiring a lawyer doesn't mean that you're headed to court and eventually to trial. It means that you're serious about these issues, and you want to move things to the next level. Most lawyers <span class="noglossary">will</span> write a letter to your ex explaining that they've been hired by you to start or continue negotiations with an eye to reaching settlement. | ||
Lawyers often negotiate directly with the lawyer for the other person, through letters and telephone calls. Sometimes lawyers <span class="noglossary">will</span> have a meeting where everyone's there: you, your lawyer, your ex and your ex's lawyer. These are called four-way meetings, and they can be very helpful to move discussions along. | Lawyers often negotiate directly with the lawyer for the other person, through letters and telephone calls. Sometimes lawyers <span class="noglossary">will</span> have a meeting where everyone's there: you, your lawyer, your ex and your ex's lawyer. These are called four-way meetings, and they can be very helpful to move discussions along. If you are able to sit down with your ex and come to agreement on some matters, but get stuck on others, often the most efficient way to resolve the remaining issues are to sit down in a meeting with your lawyers or with a mediator. Where lawyers negotiate primarily through letters rather than phone calls and face-to-face meetings, this can quickly escalate misunderstandings and get people on the defensive. (Not to mention increasing costs!) . If you and your ex are both committed to resolving the remaining issues out of court, look for lawyers whose focus is on resolving matters outside of court. Lawyers trained in and actively practice in the collaborative process model are one option for finding a lawyer with such an approach. | ||
==Using mediators== | ==Using mediators== | ||