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Difference between revisions of "Separating Emotionally"
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Your choice of lawyer can play a large part in determining how your separation unfolds. Many lawyers are quite open to mediation and collaborative settlement processes, while a few others see litigation as the only means of resolving a dispute, particularly lawyers who have a reputation as being bulldogs. Other lawyers do not take their duty to respond promptly to correspondence particularly seriously, which will delay things and may result in an unnecessarily large number of interim applications. Still other lawyers see their duty as limited to militantly carrying out their clients' instructions, without supplying a great deal of options or cautions as to the likely effect of those instructions. | Your choice of lawyer can play a large part in determining how your separation unfolds. Many lawyers are quite open to mediation and collaborative settlement processes, while a few others see litigation as the only means of resolving a dispute, particularly lawyers who have a reputation as being bulldogs. Other lawyers do not take their duty to respond promptly to correspondence particularly seriously, which will delay things and may result in an unnecessarily large number of interim applications. Still other lawyers see their duty as limited to militantly carrying out their clients' instructions, without supplying a great deal of options or cautions as to the likely effect of those instructions. | ||
The best family law lawyers give their clients a common-sense analysis of their situation, based on probable outcomes and their expert knowledge of the law, and encourage their clients to take positions | The best family law lawyers give their clients a common-sense analysis of their situation, based on probable outcomes and their expert knowledge of the law, and encourage their clients to take positions that are objectively reasonable. These lawyers will usually pursue settlement, both before and after litigation has started, and see litigation as a last resort. They are open to negotiation and mediation and other out-of-court processes, although they may prefer a result-oriented mediation process rather than the lengthier traditional mediation process that also tries to address emotional issues. | ||
While some people, particularly those in angry separations, feel an almost irresistible urge to go out and hire the toughest bulldog around to exact revenge against their former partner, bulldogs rarely see any resolutions other than: a settlement on exactly the unreasonable, extortionate terms their clients want; or, a knock-down drag-'em-out trial. These lawyers cost the most, and you can expect the litigation process to drag out for an ungodly amount of time — with absolutely no guarantee of a better result than what you would have had if you'd taken a different, less antagonistic approach | While some people, particularly those in angry separations, feel an almost irresistible urge to go out and hire the toughest bulldog around to exact revenge against their former partner, bulldogs rarely see any resolutions other than: a settlement on exactly the unreasonable, extortionate terms their clients want; or, a knock-down drag-'em-out trial. These lawyers cost the most, and you can expect the litigation process to drag out for an ungodly amount of time — with absolutely no guarantee of a better result than what you would have had if you'd taken a different, less antagonistic approach. | ||
How do you find a lawyer? By reputation. Ask around; talk to friends who have had to deal with family lawyers before; ask for referrals from the other professionals in your life. You can also window shop. You don't have to hire the first lawyer you have a consultation with; go ahead and set up meetings with a bunch of different lawyers. | Even if you are in an angry separation, step back and take a breath. Remember that even though you may hate your former partner at present, you will have to live with the consequences of hasty litigation and your unreasonable positions well into the future. You might also lose your house to pay your lawyer's fees. | ||
How do you find a lawyer? By reputation. Ask around; talk to friends who have had to deal with family lawyers before; ask for referrals from the other professionals in your life. You can also window shop. You don't have to hire the first lawyer you have a consultation with; go ahead and set up meetings with a bunch of different lawyers. You can find additional information about hiring a lawyer in the chapter within the section[[Lawyers & The Law Society]]. | |||
You should also know that many lawyers who litigate are also accredited family law mediators. If the lawyer you're speaking to is also a family law mediator, you may want to enquire about the possibility of using his or her services to mediate your dispute before you say much more about your case. If you give the lawyer too much information about your situation, he or she may not be able to assume the impartial role demanded of a mediator. | You should also know that many lawyers who litigate are also accredited family law mediators. If the lawyer you're speaking to is also a family law mediator, you may want to enquire about the possibility of using his or her services to mediate your dispute before you say much more about your case. If you give the lawyer too much information about your situation, he or she may not be able to assume the impartial role demanded of a mediator. | ||