I Just Separated from the Other Parent of My Children

If you and the other parent of your children have separated, you need to make decisions about who will have parental responsibility for the children, which includes things like:

• making day-to-day decisions affecting the children,
• having day-to-day care of the children,
• making decisions about where the children will live, and
• making decisions about the children's education and extra-curricular activities.

You will also need to decide if the other parent will have parenting time or contact with the children, and how you will handle support (regular financial support for the children and, if necessary, you or the other parent).

First steps

1. Ensure that you and your children are safe. This may mean leaving the family home for awhile and staying with friends or staying in a transition house. Look in the Yellow Pages under "Crisis Centres," or contact VictimLINK. The local police station can also give you information about transition houses and other victim services.
2. If you need a lawyer but cannot afford one on your own, see if you qualify for legal aid representation. If you qualify, the Legal Services Society will appoint a lawyer to advise you and represent you in court.
   If you don't qualify for legal aid representation, or if you think you can resolve your issues through mediation, you may wish to contact a Family Justice Centre. Counsellors at Family Justice Centres can provide information, mediation and assistance with applications involving guardianship, parenting time, and support in Family Court. However, they have no jurisdiction to help with divorce or division of family property and debts.
3. If you want to apply for guardianship, parenting time, or support in Family Court, complete an Application to Obtain an Order. Family Court forms and self-help information are available online at the Family Law in BC website. Click on the shortcut "Self-help guides," scroll down to "Family orders" and click on the appropriate link. If you do not feel it is safe to wait, you may ask the judge to make the order "without notice," meaning that the court will make its order without your ex-partner having a chance to be heard or being notified in advance that you are seeking an order. Without notice orders are always interim (short-term) and your ex-partner will eventually have a chance to speak to the judge before a final order is made.

What happens next

If you qualify for legal aid representation, a lawyer will be appointed to represent you in your case and lead you through the court process.

You can also contact a family justice counsellor and set up an appointment to review your situation. The family justice counsellor will give you information about family law issues, offer to mediate between you and your ex, or help you fill out court forms if necessary.

If you file an Application to Obtain an Order, you will have to arrange to serve your ex with a copy of the application and notice of the court date, unless it is dangerous or impractical to do so. A court date will be set by the Family Court once your ex files a reply.

Where to get help

See the Resource List in this Guide for a list of helpful resources. Your best bets are:

• Legal aid representation to see if you qualify for legal aid.
• Family Law in BC website, for forms, self-help materials and other legal information about family legal issues.
• Family duty counsel (Provincial or Supreme), for some assistance on the day you have to appear in court.
• Family Justice Centres, to make an appointment with a family justice counsellor to discuss guardianship, parenting time, and support.
• Family LawLINE.
• Access Pro Bono, Lawyer Referral Service, and private bar lawyers.

Before meeting with a lawyer or advocate, complete the form Preparing for Your Interview included in this Guide. Make sure you bring copies of all documents relating to your case.

This information applies to British Columbia, Canada. Last reviewed for legal accuracy by Annie Kaderly, March 2013.

Legal Help for British Columbians © Cliff Thorstenson and Courthouse Libraries BC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 Canada Licence.