I Just Separated from the Other Parent of My Children

If you and the other parent of your children have separated, you still need to make decisions about who will have custody (who the children will live with and smaller, day-to-day decisions) and how much access the other parent will have to the children.

You will also need to decide how you will handle guardianship (long-term decisions about the children's health, education and welfare) and maintenance (financial support for the children and, if necessary, you or the other parent).

First steps

1. Ensure that you and your children are safe. This may mean leaving the family home for awhile and staying with friends or staying in a transition house. (Look in the Yellow pages under "Crisis Centres" or see VictimLINK (listed in the Resource Guide in Part 2). The local police station can also give you information about transition houses and other victim services.)
2. If you need a lawyer but cannot afford one on your own, see if you qualify for legal aid representation. (See Legal Aid Representation in Part 2 of this guide for information about applying for legal aid.) If you qualify, the Legal Services Society will appoint a lawyer to advise you and represent you in court.
   
   If you don't qualify for legal aid representation, or if you think you can resolve your issues through mediation, you may wish to contact a Family Justice Centre. (See Family Justice Centres in Part 2 of this guide for contact information.) Counsellors at Family Justice Centres can provide information, mediation and assistance with applications involving custody, access, guardianship and maintenance in Family Court. However, they have no jurisdiction to help with divorce or division of family assets.
3. If you want to apply for custody, guardianship, access or maintenance in Family Court, complete an Application to Obtain an Order. Family Court forms and self-help information are also available online at the Family Law in BC website, listed in Part 2 of this guide. Click on the shortcut "Self-help guides", scroll down to "Family orders" and click on the appropriate link. If you do not feel it is safe to wait, you may ask the judge to make the order "without notice," meaning that the court will make its order without your ex-partner having a chance to be heard or being notified in advance that you are seeking an order. Without Notice orders are always interim (short-term) and your ex-partner will eventually have a chance to speak to the judge before a final order is made.

What happens next

If you qualify for legal aid representation, a lawyer will be appointed to represent you in your case and lead you through the court process.

You can also contact a Family Justice Counsellor and set up an appointment to review your situation. The Family Justice Counsellor will give you information about family law issues, offer to mediate between you and your ex, and help you fill out court forms if necessary.

If you file an Application to Obtain an Order, you will have to arrange to serve your ex with a copy of the Application and notice of the court date, unless it is dangerous or impractical to do so. A court date will be set by the Family Court once your ex files a Reply.

Where to get help

See the Resource Guide for a list of helpful resources. Your best bets are:

• Legal aid representation to see if you qualify for legal aid.
• Family Law in BC, for forms, self-help materials and other legal information about family legal issues.
• Family duty counsel (Provincial or Supreme), for some assistance on the day you have to appear in court.
• Family Justice Centres and Family Lawyer Advice Project, to make an appointment with a Family Justice Counsellor to discuss custody, guardianship, access or maintenance.
• Supreme Court Self-help Centre website for self-help materials and other legal information about Supreme Court procedures and representing yourself in Supreme Court.
• Family LawLINE.
• Access Pro Bono, Lawyer Referral Service, Salvation Army Pro Bono Lawyer Consultation Program, Private Bar Lawyers.

Before meeting with a lawyer or advocate, complete the form Preparing for Your Interview included in this Guide. Make sure you bring copies of all documents relating to your case.

In family law, the natural or adoptive father or mother of a child; may also include stepparents, depending on the circumstances and the applicable legislation; may include the donors of eggs or sperm and surrogate mothers, depending on the circumstances and the terms of any assisted reproduction agreement. See "adoptive parent," "assisted reproduction," "natural parent" and "stepparent."

In family law, an antiquated term used by the old Divorce Act to describe the right to possess a child and make parenting decisions concerning the child's health, welfare and upbringing. Replaced in the new Divorce Act with the term decision-making responsibility." See "access," "decision-making responsibility" and "parenting time."

Under the old Divorce Act, the schedule of a parent's time with their children under an order or agreement, replaced with "parenting time" and "contact" in the new Divorce Act. Access usually referred to the schedule of the parent with the least amount of time with the child. See "contact," "custody" and "parenting time."

In family law, an antiquated term referring to child support and spousal support. See "child support" and "spousal support."

In family law, the dwelling occupied by a family as their primary residence. See "family property" and "real property."

A person licensed to practice law in a particular jurisdiction by that jurisdiction's law society. See "barrister and solicitor."

In contract law, a promise made by someone about a certain state of affairs, like "the plumbing was replaced last year" or "I had a vasectomy two years ago." See "misrepresentation."

A dispute resolution process in which a specially-trained neutral person facilitates discussions between the parties to a legal dispute and helps them reach a compromise settling the dispute. See "alternative dispute resolution" and "family law mediator."

Under the Family Law Act, a term that describes the time a person who is not a guardian of a child, including a parent who is not a guardian, has with that child. Under the Divorce Act, a term that describes the time a person who is not a married spouse has with a child. See "guardian" and "parental responsibilities."

With respect to courts, (1) the authority of the court to hear an action and make orders, (2) the limits of the authority of a particular judicial official, (3) the geographic location of a court, or (4) the territorial limits of a court's authority. With respect to governments, (5) the authority of a government to make legislation as determined by the constitution, or (6) the limits of authority of a particular government agency. See “constitution."

The legal termination of a valid marriage by an order of a judge; the ending of a marital relationship and the conjugal obligations of each spouse to the other. See "conjugal rights," "marriage" and "marriage, validity of."

A legal document required by the Provincial Court Family Rules to start a court proceeding which sets out the relief sought by the applicant against the person named as respondent. See "action," "applicant," "pleadings," "relief" and "respondent."

A person appointed by the federal or provincial government to manage and decide court proceedings in an impartial manner, independent of influence by the parties, the government, or agents of the government. The decisions of a judge are binding upon the parties to the proceeding, subject to appeal.

A mandatory direction of the court that is binding and enforceable upon the parties to a court proceeding. An "interim order" is a temporary order made following the hearing of an interim application. A "final order" is a permanent order, made following the trial of the court proceeding or the parties' settlement, following which the only recourse open to a dissatisfied party is to appeal. Failing to abide by the terms of an order may constitute contempt of court. See "appeal," "consent order," "contempt of court," "decision" and "declaration."

In family law, this usually refers to one party obtaining a part of any property at issue before the property has been finally divided by court order or the parties' agreement, usually in order to help pay for that person's legal fees.

(1) In law, a court proceeding; a lawsuit; an action; a cause of action; a claim. (2) A historic decision of the court; case law. See "action," "case law, " "court proceeding," and "precedent."

In law, the re-examination of a term of an order or agreement, usually to determine whether the term remains fair and appropriate in light of the circumstances prevailing at the time of the review. In family law, particularly the review of an order or agreement provided for the payment of spousal support. See "de novo," "family law agreements," "order" and "spousal support."

In contract law, the expression, either orally or in writing, of a willingness to be bound by a proposed agreement, contract, or settlement. See "offer to settle."

A legal document required by the Provincial Court Family Rules to respond to a claim made in an applicant's Application to Obtain an Order. See "applicant," "Application to Obtain an Order," "claim" and "Counterclaim."

Normally referred to as the "Supreme Court of British Columbia," this court hears most of the trials in this province. The Supreme Court is a court of inherent jurisdiction and has no limits on the sorts of claims it can hear or on the sorts of orders it can make. Decisions of the Provincial Court are appealed to the Supreme Court; decisions of the Supreme Court are appealed to the Court of Appeal. See "Court of Appeal," "jurisdiction," "Provincial Court" and "Supreme Court of Canada."

(1) A lawyer or a person other than a lawyer who helps clients with legal issues, or (2) to argue a position on behalf of someone.