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Difference between revisions of "Children Who Resist Seeing a Parent"
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Children Who Resist Seeing a Parent (view source)
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===Gardner's Parental Alienation Syndrome=== | ===Gardner's Parental Alienation Syndrome=== | ||
In 1997, Dr. Deirdre Rand published an article called "The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome (Part II)" in the American Journal of Forensic Psychology, summarizing and updating Dr. Gardner's theory. In that article, Dr. Rand describes PAS as the child's formation of an "alignment" with one parent against the other. Think of "alignment" as meaning an alliance, or a sense of allegiance, in which a child comes to share the views and emotions of one parent over those of the other parent. | In 1997, Dr. Deirdre Rand published an article called "[http://www.secuestro-emocional.org/pas/randp2.pdf The Spectrum of Parental Alienation Syndrome (Part II)]" in the American Journal of Forensic Psychology, summarizing and updating Dr. Gardner's theory. In that article, Dr. Rand describes PAS as the child's formation of an "alignment" with one parent against the other. Think of "alignment" as meaning an alliance, or a sense of allegiance, in which a child comes to share the views and emotions of one parent over those of the other parent. | ||
A study by J.R. Johnston and L.E. Campbell in 1988 found a measurable degree of alignment between children and one parent in 35 to 40% of the high conflict cases they studied. In a 1993 article in ''Children of Divorce who Refuse Visitation'', Johnston reported finding strong alignments in 28 to 43% of 9 to 12 year olds in high-conflict cases, with another 29% showing symptoms of a mild alignment. | A study by J.R. Johnston and L.E. Campbell in 1988 found a measurable degree of alignment between children and one parent in 35 to 40% of the high conflict cases they studied. In a 1993 article in ''Children of Divorce who Refuse Visitation'', Johnston reported finding strong alignments in 28 to 43% of 9 to 12 year olds in high-conflict cases, with another 29% showing symptoms of a mild alignment. | ||
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The mental health community has been split on PAS for a number of reasons: | The mental health community has been split on PAS for a number of reasons: | ||
# | #There is no empirical support to give PAS status as a diagnosable syndrome. | ||
# | #The theory focuses almost exclusively on the alienating parent as the cause of the child's rejection. | ||
#PAS is overly simplistic and frequently misapplied. | #PAS is overly simplistic and frequently misapplied. | ||
===Contemporary | ===Contemporary perspectives on alienated children=== | ||
In their 2001 article "The Alienated Child", published in Family Court Review, Drs. Kelly and Johnston propose a reformulation of Dr. Gardner's theory that would focus primarily on the alienated child rather than on the alienating parent, on the principle that there are many different factors that can cause a child to be alienated from a parent apart from a malicious parent. | In their 2001 article "[http://jkseminars.com/pdf/AlienatedChildArt.pdf The Alienated Child]", published in Family Court Review, Drs. Kelly and Johnston propose a reformulation of Dr. Gardner's theory that would focus primarily on the alienated child rather than on the alienating parent, on the principle that there are many different factors that can cause a child to be alienated from a parent apart from a malicious parent. | ||
Drs. Kelly and Johnston view a child's relationships with his or her parents as falling on a spectrum running from the child wanting a positive relationship with both parents to the child being pathologically alienated from one parent: | Drs. Kelly and Johnston view a child's relationships with his or her parents as falling on a spectrum running from the child wanting a positive relationship with both parents to the child being pathologically alienated from one parent: | ||
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Central to this reformulation of Dr. | Central to this reformulation of Dr. Gardner's theory are the ideas that: | ||
*the child is the focus of investigation, not just one of the parents, | |||
*children can become alienated from a parent for a good and justifiable reason, which the authors call ''estrangement'', and | |||
*there are more potential causes of a child's alienation than only a malicious parent who is actively trying to interfere with the child's relationship with the other parent. | |||
Drs. Kelly and Johnston do not reject Dr. Gardner's theory of the malicious parent, but they do broaden the scope of things that should be considered when evaluating for parental alienation. | Drs. Kelly and Johnston do not reject Dr. Gardner's theory of the malicious parent, but they do broaden the scope of things that should be considered when evaluating for parental alienation. | ||
===The | ===The impact on children=== | ||
The Johnston and Campbell study described children with strong alignments as "forfeiting their childhood" because of the adult role they are forced to play when they become the alienating parent's nurturer, ally and support system. Dr. Rand notes that: | The Johnston and Campbell study described children with strong alignments as "forfeiting their childhood" because of the adult role they are forced to play when they become the alienating parent's nurturer, ally and support system. Dr. Rand notes that: | ||
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While the process of alienation is underway, children are subject to a tremendous conflict of loyalties, which compounds the burden of nurturing an emotionally troubled parent, particularly when the alienation is intentional. While the parents were together, their children love them both, and children naturally desire for this to continue even when their parent's aren't together. Alienating conduct essentially asks children to pick sides, to chose one parent permanently and irrevocably over the other parent. | While the process of alienation is underway, children are subject to a tremendous conflict of loyalties, which compounds the burden of nurturing an emotionally troubled parent, particularly when the alienation is intentional. While the parents were together, their children love them both, and children naturally desire for this to continue even when their parent's aren't together. Alienating conduct essentially asks children to pick sides, to chose one parent permanently and irrevocably over the other parent. | ||
In G.F. Cartwright's article "Expanding the Parameters of Parental Alienation Syndrome," published in The American Journal of Family Therapy in 1993, a number of long-term psychological problems were found in children in alienation situations, including: | In G.F. Cartwright's article "[http://www.secuestro-emocional.org/pas/cartwr93.pdf Expanding the Parameters of Parental Alienation Syndrome]," published in The American Journal of Family Therapy in 1993, a number of long-term psychological problems were found in children in alienation situations, including: | ||
#depression, anxiety and/or stress | #depression, anxiety and/or stress, | ||
#delayed emotional maturity | #delayed emotional maturity, | ||
#psychosomatic illnesses | #psychosomatic illnesses, and | ||
#long-term feelings of guilt and loss. | #long-term feelings of guilt and loss. | ||
In A. Lampel's article "Children's Alignment with Parents in Highly Conflicted Custody Cases," published in the Family and Conciliation Courts Review in 1996, these psychological problems were found to include: | In A. Lampel's article "[http://www.canadiancrc.com/Parental_Alienation_Syndrome_Canada/lampel96.pdf Children's Alignment with Parents in Highly Conflicted Custody Cases]," published in the Family and Conciliation Courts Review in 1996, these psychological problems were found to include: | ||
#being angrier than non-alienated children | #being angrier than non-alienated children, | ||
#being less well-adjusted | #being less well-adjusted, and | ||
#being less able to conceptualize complex situations. | #being less able to conceptualize complex situations. | ||
Finally, when the process of alienation is complete, the child will have chosen sides. The child's relationship with the other parent may be permanently impaired. While many children afflicted by alienation will recover in their mid- to late-teens and reach out to the other parent, some never do and their relationship with the other parent is permanently destroyed. To quote from the judge in a 2005 Ontario case, ''Cooper v. Cooper'', | Finally, when the process of alienation is complete, the child will have chosen sides. The child's relationship with the other parent may be permanently impaired. While many children afflicted by alienation will recover in their mid- to late-teens and reach out to the other parent, some never do and their relationship with the other parent is permanently destroyed. To quote from the judge in a 2005 Ontario case, ''[http://canlii.ca/t/1jgqp Cooper v. Cooper]'', 2004 CanLII 47783 (ON SC): | ||
<blockquote>"I find that [the mother's] sabotaging actions have been knowing, wilful and deliberate. As a result of [her] behaviour, the children have little or no relationship with the father who loves them, who has tried to be a good father, and who has been a good provider throughout their lives."</blockquote> | <blockquote>"I find that [the mother's] sabotaging actions have been knowing, wilful and deliberate. As a result of [her] behaviour, the children have little or no relationship with the father who loves them, who has tried to be a good father, and who has been a good provider throughout their lives."</blockquote> | ||
===Alienated | ===Alienated parents=== | ||
Parents often find themselves feeling closer to the children following separation than they did during the relationship. Dr. Rand says that fathers in particular find a greater reward in parenting as a result of the loss, loneliness and feelings of failure that can follow from the breakdown of the relationship. Accordingly, the impact of parental alienation is particularly traumatic to the targetted parent. | Parents often find themselves feeling closer to the children following separation than they did during the relationship. Dr. Rand says that fathers in particular find a greater reward in parenting as a result of the loss, loneliness and feelings of failure that can follow from the breakdown of the relationship. Accordingly, the impact of parental alienation is particularly traumatic to the targetted parent. | ||
====Backing | ====Backing off==== | ||
D.S. Huntington, in an article published in 1986 in Divorce and Fatherhood, noted that some parents can be driven off by a child's apparent rejection and refusal to visit. J.W. Jacobs, in a different article in the same book, says that | D.S. Huntington, in an article published in 1986 in Divorce and Fatherhood, noted that some parents can be driven off by a child's apparent rejection and refusal to visit. J.W. Jacobs, in a different article in the same book, says that targeted parents may also "voluntarily" withdraw from the child's life where, in their view, the child would suffer if the custody issues were pursued or if the child would be exposed to additional conflict between the parents. | ||
====Contributing to the Problem==== | ====Contributing to the Problem==== | ||
