How Do I Find My Ex?

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In general, people need to find their ex for two reasons:

  • because they want to start a court proceeding and need to find their ex to serve them with the papers that begin the proceeding, or
  • to begin enforcing an order relating to child support or spousal support.

Private services[edit]

The fastest but most expensive way is to hire a skip tracer or a private investigator under a locate or skip trace service contract. Skip tracers are people or agencies that are usually hired by financial institutions, insurance agencies, or law firms to find someone who's avoiding a debt or a legal process, or to locate their assets. Recently, some skip tracing services have (for their own insurance purposes) stopped taking locate contracts from members of the public. Some agencies still take public locate contracts, however, so long as they are satisfied that the purpose is legitimate. Expect to be charged a few hundred dollars and be required to pay up front.

If you can find a lawyer who will retain the services of a skip tracer for you, you may find that you have a wider selection of options. Private investigators can also provide locate services, and will be more open to public locate contracts, but generally PIs are more adept at discovering information as opposed to locating people cost-effectively. Skip tracing can use a variety of techniques, from going through databases and listings, to surveillance and witness interviews.

Public services[edit]

If you need to find someone who owes you support due to an agreement or court order, the BC Family Maintenance Agency (BCFMA) is a free service that may be able to help enforce and collect the payments for you. BCFMA will not help you find someone in order to start an action or get an order for support, but BCFMA will take action to enforce court orders and agreements and collect the money you are owed. The agreement or court order has to state the specific amount that the payor must pay you in order for BCFMA to enforce it.

BCFMA has some fairly long arms and unique legal authority, so it can be effective in cases where a payor is avoiding existing support obligations under an agreement or court order. BCFMA can:

  • intercept federal sources of income such as income tax or EI,
  • attach wages, bank accounts or other sources of income,
  • cancel a current driver’s licence or prevent a new licence being issued,
  • prevent a motor vehicle registration being issued or renewed,
  • suspend a passport or federal licences such as pilot’s licence,
  • report unpaid maintenance to a credit bureau,
  • summons the payor to a default hearing in court,
  • issue a lien against the payor’s personal property or land.

To use the BCFMA service, visit their website and enroll online. You can also call BCFMA and ask questions about the service: 1-866-557-2427.

Internet and social media[edit]

The explosive growth of the internet and social media has resulted in a heck of a lot of information being readily available, sometimes in ways people don't think of. If you're looking for someone online, try a Google search using the person's first and last names, in quotes, like this:

"John Doe"

or

"J Doe"

The quote marks force the search engine to look for that exact phrase, which increases the likelihood that you'll find the person you're looking for. If you have an idea of where the person might be, add that to your search phrase, but put it outside the quotes, like this:

"John Doe" Kamloops

or

"John Doe" "British Columbia"

If you know another keyword, such as a profession or interest, try adding that word outside their name in quotes.

Social media accounts are another frequent source of information for skip tracers. Facebook may connect you to family members, old friends, or other third parties with information that you need to locate your ex in order to continue with legal proceedings. LinkedIn can provide professional information and could be particularly useful if you know the person’s profession.

You could also try one of these services:

  • Canada411.ca, a Canada-wide phone book,
  • 411.com, which allows you to find a person by looking up their phone number or address,
  • Online tools like TinEye.com, FaceCheck.id, Iimages.google.com, etc. will allow you to perform a reverse image search which could provide clues about the person’s location or online presence.
  • Set up a Google Alert and enter keywords for the topics that you want to follow, for example, “John Doe, Kelowna”. If something comes up, you will be alerted.
  • Perform a search of the court records publicly available via Court Services Online. If there are any current BC criminal or civil proceedings, this could give you a clue as to which city your ex is living in and when that proceeding was last active.
  • If you believe your ex may own real property in BC, contact Land Titles and perform a title search for property that they, or their family members, might own in BC. This could provide you with an address for your ex. There will be a fee associated with this process.

Avoid pay services operated out of the United States, especially those that want you to enter your credit card number on their website. They may not be able to search within Canada.


This information applies to British Columbia, Canada. Last reviewed for legal accuracy by Mark Norton and Stephanie Pesth, September 18, 2023.


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