How Do I Find My Ex?

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In general, people need to find their ex for two reasons:

  • because they want to start a court proceeding and need to find their ex to serve them with the papers that begin the proceeding, or
  • to begin enforcing an order relating to child support or spousal support.

Private services[edit]

The fastest but most expensive way to find someone is to hire a skip tracer. Skip tracers are people that are usually hired by creditors to find someone who's left town to avoid a debt, but they'll also take private contracts to find someone. Private investigators can also provide this sort of service, but generally PIs have more practice at finding information rather than people.

Public services[edit]

If you need to find someone who owes you support due to an agreement or court order, the BC Ministry of Attorney General has a free service that may be able to help enforce and collect the payments for you. It's called the Family Maintenance Enforcement Program (FMEP). The service will not help you find someone in order to start an action or get an order for support, but FMEP will take action to enforce court orders and agreements and collect the money you are owed. The agreement or court order has to state the specific amount that the payor must pay you in order for FMEP to enforce it.

FMEP has some fairly long arms and can be effective in cases where a payor is avoiding their support obligations. FMEP can:

  • intercept federal sources of income such as income tax or EI,
  • attach wages, bank accounts or other sources of income,
  • cancel a current driver’s licence or prevent a new licence being issued,
  • prevent a motor vehicle registration being issued or renewed,
  • suspend a passport or federal licences such as pilot’s licence,
  • report unpaid maintenance to a credit bureau,
  • summons the payor to a default hearing in court,
  • issue a lien against the payor’s personal property or land.

To use the FMEP service, visit their website and enroll online. You can also call FMEP and ask questions about the service: 250-220-4040.

Internet and social media[edit]

The explosive growth of the internet and social media has resulted in a heck of a lot of information being readily available, sometimes in ways people don't think of. If you're looking for someone online, try a Google search using the person's first and last names, in quotes, like this:

"John Doe"

or

"J Doe"

The quote marks force the search engine to look for that exact phrase, which increases the likelihood that you'll find the person you're looking for. If you have an idea of where the person might be, add that to your search phrase, but put it outside the quotes, like this:

"John Doe" Kamloops

or

"John Doe" "British Columbia"

If you know another keyword, such as a profession or interest, try adding that word outside their name in quotes.

Social media accounts are another frequent source of information for skip tracers. Facebook may connect you to family members, old friends, or other third parties with information that you need to locate your ex in order to continue with legal proceedings.

You could also try one of these services:

  • Canada411.ca, a Canada-wide phone book, or
  • 411.com, which allows you to find a person by looking up their phone number or address.

Avoid pay services operated out of the United States, especially those that want you to enter your credit card number on their website. They may not be able to search within Canada.

For more information[edit]

You can find more information about starting an action in the chapter Resolving Family Law Problems in Court within the section Starting a Court Proceeding in a Family Matter, and about enforcing orders within the section Enforcing Orders in Family Matters.


This information applies to British Columbia, Canada. Last reviewed for legal accuracy by Nate Russell, July 28, 2019.


JP Boyd on Family Law © John-Paul Boyd and Courthouse Libraries BC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 Canada Licence.