How Do I Start Arbitration with My Spouse?

Pick the right moment

You can't force your ex to go to arbitration with you, you can only do it with his or her agreement. Your ex isn't likely to agree to arbitration if he or she is still pissed off about a recent argument or is still resentful about the end of the relationship.

When you've got the right moment, suggesting arbitration can be as simple as calling your ex up and inviting him or her out for a cup of coffee at the local Tim Hortons:

"Hey look, I think it's time that we sat down and started to talk about things. I know you're still a bit upset about everything, but we really need to make a few decisions and I don't think we're going to be able to do this on our own. I've asked my friend Simeng what happened with her and Robert, and she said that they resolved everything through arbitration."

At this point, it's all about getting your ex to try arbitration, and it's your job to sell the idea. Here are some reasons why arbitration is a really, really good idea:

• arbitration is private, there is no court file and the hearing is not open to the public,
• you can arbitrate with the help of lawyers or on your own,
• you can pick an arbitrator who's an expert in the issues that are the most challenging for your family,
• you can get the help of professionals like child psychologists, business valuators, and tax planners,
• with input of the arbitrator, you can design the rules that will apply to your hearing,
• with input of the arbitrator, you can decide on the amount of disclosure that will be needed for your hearing,
• the arbitrator's decision is just as final and just as binding as a court award,
• you can schedule the hearing date as soon as you want, where you want, and
• with faster hearings and more efficient process to get there, arbitration is cheaper than litigation.

Going to trial will cost a minimum of $15,000 in lawyer's fees for a two- or three-day trial. Most family law trials are one or two weeks long, and this figure ignores the costs of all the other things that have to happen before you walk into the courtroom on day one!

If this doesn't get your ex to agree to try arbitration, tell him or her to ask separated friends, family members and co-workers how much it cost for their court proceedings and how long it took to go from start to finish.

Hire an arbitrator

Now that your ex has agreed to try arbitration, strike while the iron is hot: find an arbitrator and book a pre-arbitration meeting immediately.

Before hiring an arbitrator, make sure you've looked into his or her background to find out if they have special training.

Lawyers who have training and are accredited to arbitrate by the Law Society are called family law arbitrators, and they will usually advertise themselves as such.

When picking a mediator, go to the website of a professional association like the Family Law Arbitrators Group. Associations like this will have a list of their members, the training and experience they require for membership and a short biography of each member. If that doesn't work, call a family law lawyer. Most family law lawyers will know one or two arbitrators they can recommend, and will be happy to give you the arbitrators' names and phone numbers.

This information applies to British Columbia, Canada. Last reviewed for legal accuracy by JP Boyd, March 24, 2013.

JP Boyd on Family Law © John-Paul Boyd and Courthouse Libraries BC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 Canada Licence.

Normally referred to as the "Supreme Court of British Columbia," this court hears most of the trials in this province. The Supreme Court is a court of inherent jurisdiction and has no limits on the sorts of claims it can hear or on the sorts of orders it can make. Decisions of the Provincial Court are appealed to the Supreme Court; decisions of the Supreme Court are appealed to the Court of Appeal. See "Court of Appeal," "jurisdiction," "Provincial Court" and "Supreme Court of Canada."

A court established and staffed by the provincial government, which includes Small Claims Court, Youth Court, and Family Court. The Provincial Court is the lowest level of court in British Columbia and is restricted in the sorts of matters it can deal with. It is, however, the most accessible of the two trial courts and no fees are charged to begin or defend a family law proceeding. The Family Court of the Provincial Court cannot deal with the division of family property or any claims under the Divorce Act. See "Divorce Act," "judge" and "jurisdiction."

A dispute resolution process in which an arbitrator hears the evidence and arguments presented by the parties to a legal dispute and makes an award that resolves the dispute and is binding on the parties. The arbitration of family law disputes is governed by rules set out in Part 2, Division 4 of the Family Law Act. See "alternative dispute resolution" and "family law arbitrator."

In law, any proceeding before a judicial official to determine questions of law and questions of fact, including the hearing of an application and the hearing of a trial. See "decision."

A person who is younger than the legal age of majority, 19 in British Columbia. See "age of majority."

A step in a court proceeding in which each party advises the other of the documents in their possession which relate to the issues in the court proceeding and produces copies of any documents the other side requests before trial. This process is regulated by the rules of court, which put each party under an ongoing obligation to continue to advise the other of new documents coming into their possession or control. The purpose of this step is to encourage the settlement of court proceedings and to prevent a party from springing new evidence on the other party at trial.

In law, (1) a judge's conclusions after hearing argument and considering the evidence presented at a trial or an application, (2) a judgment, or (3) the judge's reasons. A judge's written or oral decision will include the judge's conclusions about the relief or remedies claimed as well as their findings of fact and conclusions of law. A written decision is called the judge’s "reasons for judgment." See "common law," "conclusions of law" and "findings of fact."

(1) In law, a requirement or obligation to honour and abide by something, such as a contract or order of the court. A judge's order is "binding" in the sense that it must be obeyed or a certain punishment will be imposed. (2) The principle that a higher court's decision on a point of law must be followed by a lower court. See "contempt of court" and "precedent."

A mandatory direction of an arbitrator, binding and enforceable upon the parties to an arbitration proceeding, made following the hearing of the arbitration trial proceeding or the parties' settlement, following which the only recourse open to a dissatisfied party is to challenge or appeal the award in court. See "appeal," "arbitration," and "family law arbitrator."

The testing of the claims in a court proceeding at a formal hearing before a judge with the jurisdiction to hear the proceeding. The parties present their evidence and arguments to the judge, who then makes a decision resolving the parties' claims against one another that is final and binding on the parties unless successfully appealed. See "action," "appeal," "argument," "claim," "evidence" and "jurisdiction."

The money charged by a lawyer to their client for the lawyer's services, usually pursuant to the terms of the lawyer's retainer agreement. Most family law lawyers bill by the hour with a premium for success or the difficulty or novelty of the case. A lawyer's bill may include "disbursements," costs incurred by the lawyer for such things as courier fees, court fees, or photocopying expenses. See "account" and "Certificate of Fees."

A person licensed to practice law in a particular jurisdiction by that jurisdiction's law society. See "barrister and solicitor."